Potential

There is magic in potential. The first time i had heard of the term , it was my 5th grade PTM at school. I looked up the word in the dictionary and since then that word has had a significant space in my mental vocabulary.

As a mother It’s sad that I have to take time out to remind myself that I am human. And I deserve to be cared for, and most importantly, I should be supported implicitly to realise my potential. We end our lives at marriage, or kids, or just the camaraderie of homemaking. And it’s not just exclusive to a stay at home mom, this is something every mother faces. We lose ourselves.

I firmly believe in the beauty of potential. We all have some significant areas of potential, and it is our responsibility to make sure we struggle at attaining that. It’s important that we aim to achieve it in our lifetime. And this struggle has to be support. Human beings weren’t meant to live separate lives, individualised like the settings of our phones. We are meant to co-exist, be educated about our way of life and help each other realise their innate potential. The world will be at its best when everyone in it are focused at being the best that they can be.

Sadly I have experienced the loss of support. And I have struggled thoroughly to build that support system within myself. It’s not easy. And definitely not required. The positivity of our lives stems from having the right kind of people around us. If we want to grow, we have to grow together, if we want a break, we have to take it together. Be patient, be empathetic, discard judgement and just be there for each other.

Potential is in all of us, mine didn’t die after PTMs. It’s still there, and in many areas. As I explore the person that I am, I understand the person that can be. And I advice all mothers to take time out, think about yourself, find out what you need to do, to be the best version of yourself. Demand respect, demand closure, demand support. Its our right, we’re answerable for all the slacking we do in our lives. Our children won’t understand random excuses, they want to be led by actions not mere words passed on from generations.

And I promise in this struggle you will find your true friends, and family. You will find truth.

Accepting Ignorance

I just came across a quote that inspired me to write this post. This is going to be deeply intellectual and thought provoking readers….

“Whoever abandons saying, “I do not know” meets his destruction”- Imam Ali (as)

The above quote holds great significance in my life. It has been my point of realisation of many people and mentalities around me. This isn’t specific to Hyderabad per say, even though here is where I came to my realisations. I will break this quote down into three…Child, parent and society

1. Child-A child will never be afraid to say “mommy I don’t know”. He is willing to learn, and so he understands the only way to do so is just express that he doesn’t have the knowledge. This eventually dies in some kids, we call it lack of confidence or self-esteem, when the child returns home and has so many doubts. “why didn’t ask your teacher?” we say. This issue arises partially due to the extreme pressure on students in schools. When it comes to education we want children to be top notch, ‘know it alls’. But a child who isn’t willing to accept his ignorance will never learn, simply because he will never ask questions.

2. Parent- As parents we are the role models, we are older, more mature, more experienced than our kids, and this gets to our heads. Accept it! Many of us are guilty of this; we change topics when we can’t answer the questions of our toddlers, we are embarrassed when we don’t know something, and even more embarrassed to accept it. This happens to teachers as well, they will ask the child to “keep quiet”, “this isn’t part of your syllabus” instead of being human and accepting that they don’t know. Our kids didn’t come with a manual, and we are only humans, so why not accept our ignorance with finesse? This will be a great model for your child to follow at school too. He will not be afraid to face the truth, and ask questions an make and effort to find out the answers.

3. Society- This is very tricky, because this is the land of adults. In families I have noticed when the elders have a mind set of “i am infallible’ such dialogues occur. You can’t move forward with time if you’re not willing to constantly educate yourself, and for that the first step is to accept that ‘you don’t know’. The lack of this courage in turn sends the message to the whole society that once you’re a certain age, or become the only elders alive in the family, you can do whatever, no questions asked; in other words Being unreasonable is your right. What sets us apart from animals is our capability to evolve intellectually, learn, educate, move forward, and if we can’t accept that we don’t know something, we are definitely headed for destruction. No one likes a person living in denial of the obvious. We shouldn’t be proud about things that are going to make us backward, everyday is a learning opportunity, and to make the most of it, we need to accept that God has created a world for us to explore and educate ourselves.