working it out through a work out.

These days the stress is getting to me a lot. The everyday routine, the dead lines, the responsibilities, it’s just a mixture of no break and full hard work. One of the issues that has been consistent is my weight. After Batool my weight transported me into obesity, which is not at all normal for one pregnancy to take you from 53 kilos to 85kilos. And no one bothered to make sure I was healthy, in fact I was constantly told it was normal to become this fat. I was naive enough to believe, as it is Batool was a preemie and I totally forgot I was a human being in the process of taking care of her. It’s just recently say in the past 2 years that I’ve had time to look at myself in the mirror for more than 5 seconds. And I hate that I am still overweight and that losing weight is so bloody difficult. I’ve seen my cousins get to pre-baby weight by the first birthday of their child!

Anyway, recently I have been losing weight, I traced my way back to the days that I was of normal BMI, and tried to compare my past lifestyle to the one I am living now. And well, I realised I’ve been eating like I am pregnant, because I got habituated to eating larger quantities. I also don’t have as much exercise as I did then, and I don’t mean going to the gym, I mean climbing of stairs, running around the house, skating, cycling, playing table tennis and other sports. I have since the revelation decided to fill this void. Many young girls start to feel there’s a time in your life when you just don’t gain weight like when you’re in school or college but that’s rubbish. It’s not “the time” it’s how active you were. After marriage most women don’t have 2 or 3 floors of stairs to climb to classes, or sports period, or visits to the parks with parents. It’s a lifestyle issue not time. We can find endless excuses, we can live in denial but always unhappy, the jiggling fat reminding us of the person we have lost.

Anyway point being, I have finally started to make a change, and right now this is the exercise I am doing at home.


I’m not putting pressure on myself, cos the aim isn’t weight loss, it’s a lifestyle change.So the slow I am to more committed I will be after I eventually reach my target weight. I am presently 67kgs, and my end aim is 55kgs. I don’t want to be at the border of Normal-Overweight BMI, I want to be safe, I want to be able to eat candy, eat them lovely chocolate cakes and not be worried. I am not a film-star, the only expectation I have with me is a realistic one. I want to have energy and stamina to be able to play with Batool. I am only 25, I don’t need to feel  50.

Here are few thoughts that motivate me:

1. You won’t have issues looking for your size in clothing

2. You will feel younger and stronger emotionally

3. No more jiggling!

4. Just do whatever you can, whatever you can

5. It’s your body, no one can help you but yourself

6. Women across the globe have children, blaming the child for bad health choices is unfair

7. My daughter deserves a healthy mom

8. I deserve to be confident and happy

9. I will get better sleep at night

I also try to focus on the people who haven’t seen me for a long time to get proper feedback. Like mom, she travels to Hyderabad with a few months gap, if I can work enough to show ANY difference which is visually noticeable than it’s good enough. Also, the appreciation element makes you feel proud, after all exercising is hard work.

What motivates or demotivates you from being healthy?

 

It’s not about being pessimistic, it’s about being realistic.

7am wake up time for a mommy, a mommy who wants to make sure that not only do her household responsibilities are taken care of but also her own life exists. That’s right, exists, in the sway of life not only does everyone else forget that we moms are human beings, but they forget to appreciate us.

Then the society wonders how so many women are joining the workforce, well, it’s simple isn’t it, a human being unlike an animal looks for appreciation, motivation, and intellectual healing to move forward each day and do the endless lists of chores for another 24 hours cycle. Moms fall through the cracks. They don’t get appreciated, at work they do because that’s work culture. You motivate your colleagues and you get the same in return. Why has this humanistic value been lost in the household, where the work is the hardest, most unpredictable, and ever so exhausting with no pay or vacation?

So the mom starts to think about herself, some start early on in their mommy hood, some lucky ones know beforehand that they need to maintain sanity via investment in self. Some new fools struggle, struggle for years till they finally figure out that no one cares, and no one’s going to make anything happen for them in return for the slaving she does. It’s not about being pessimistic, it’s about being realistic. And for many the realization comes in a form of regret. A regret they live with in their final few years of life wondering what the hell went wrong, and when. How did life pass by? The kids are old and on their own, lives of many have moved on while you sit saddened by the open nest syndrome, alone in your psychological mess. You’re alone, you always were, and it’s just that you realize it now without the camaraderie of kids around. You, always existed, but you didn’t stop to give yourself respect.

The worst is today’s culture, the compulsion of comparison. The Facebook statuses, tweets, fabulous Instagram’s, the facade of the educated. The desperate need to feel and appear like a celebrity, not wanting attention just trying to deliver a fake story to the world. And while all do this, the moms sit looking at their unwed, still in great shape friends and wonder. They wonder many things, many thoughts; many feelings pass through their overly sensitive mommy hearts. Then they breathe a sigh. A sigh that is often confusing, and then right when they try to figure it out “mommy” yells the kid.

It’s very difficult being a mother, be it a single parent or one with husband. What you do, is phenomenal. It can’t be expressed in words, and you better know that. Know also, that you have more to deliver to the world than kids. Take that aptitude test, continue that education, revisit that craft, and take control of what was first yours-YOUR LIFE.