If you can't be human

I had a group counseling session with a class at school, and one of the topics we brushed on was gender equality and how it’s important to be human being before anything. Racism is common everywhere in the world, and while we are all entitled to our own opinions, I just wanted to share a basic realisation that I believe is worth sharing and at-least a discussion amongst your friends and family.

As human beings if we can’t be human, then we shouldn’t claim to be of any religion, belief or discriminate anyone on the basis of colour, caste, creed, education, economic status etc. It’s just pointless. No matter where in the world you are, when we bleed we bleed the same blood. This reminds me of a book ; ‘Whoever you are’ by Mem Fox. It’s a beautiful book for even the adults to read, it simplifies the issues of the world to the basics, in the end we are all human. I highly recommend parents and teachers to read this book multiple times to their children/students.  Host discussions on the topic, and sensitise everyone on being human. This book reasons with logic, that no matter where you are in the world the pain we feel, the blood that pours out, the feelings are all the same, no matter how we look, what we become, how qualified we get, no matter how different we are, we are all the same, we are all human.


Explaining everything to children becomes easy when you break it down, the essence of us and what makes us unique from animals is our capacity to be beings with intellectual capacity, to understand, sympathise, empathise with fellow beings. And if we can’t be human, then we are worse than animals.

Organising for school

I am big on preserving memories, I have a box full of cards, presents, autographed shirts etc. And since Batool is going to a new class, it only makes sense to start preserving her memories. I have photos all organised by year, and at PTM his year I got files of all her activity work, so I sorted them according to date and filed them in a blue box file her school gave.




CAM03413I also inserted the schools journal, for memories.

CAM03414Amongst the papers were some activity sheets that Batool hadn’t done. I kept them for practicing now.


It was such a relief to see everything all filed up together. I will continue to do this every academic year. It helps you to visually see the difference and improvement in the skills of your child as well. Children too can be motivated to do better by seeing the change.

There’s a lot of work to still be done, my school starts tomorrow and well, there’s much to be done! But excited for a new adventure, every year is great fun, looking forward to Batools new year as a big girl in PP2!

Scholastic book fair haul

Batool school is having the scholastic book fair on at the moment. And to me that’s just an opportunity to buy more books (9 to be precise). I think it’s almost like a disease. I haven’t received the scholastic book order I placed via school yet, but that didn’t stop me. Naah! Never!

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In fact right now all our stuff is in cartons and suitcases, we will be moving once the house construction is over. It’s only when I was packing up her and my books that I realised we hCAM03020ave quite a collection. A variety, mine are mostly text books and the few books I’ve mentioned already in the blog. But hers are truly a variety, from behaviour books, to story books, picture books, activity books, educational etc. I gave a few of her books that she has outgrown to cousins. I think that’s a good way of letting go of books, Batools attached to some of her books, those are the ones she wants to re-read, and always enjoys. Those usually are succumbed to so much love they look rather shabby. I won’t part with those. Will keep them for her to cherish and revisit when she’s older.

Moving on;  I will post a detailed review on first  impressions and review, as and when we explore them. The first book I picked up was ‘who wears glasses?’ by Ana Galan. I am also looking forward to introducing Clifford and Dora to Batool. She’s has recently started showing interest in stickers, (I was waiting for that phase) so I made sure I pick up books that will satisfy that craving.

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What books have you enjoyed reading with your kids? Any recommendations?

Would you kill the queen to crush the hive?

I work at a school. And one of the best experiences being around young human beings is, you kinda don’t grow up. You are constantly reminded of your adolescence, your childhood, your teenage issues. You are almost forced to be in that phase of your life, reminiscing constantly, some conversations get you nostalgic about your own uniform clad school days.

CAM01338And as a counselor for me it’s all about solving problems, providing clarity, support, unconditional love, a safe environment for children to just let go and express themselves. I think it’s crucial for children to know that there is always going to be someone there for them, through thick and thin. And this someone isn’t always going to be an adult, a good friend can go a long way. When I was in school, there were times of loss of clarity, a feeling of struggle to own your life, take control, choose your own path etc. And this particular song used to describe that feeling. That realisation of not just the struggle, and important of taking control, but the significance support plays in the whole drill.

I listened to music in those days not for the actual music, but lyrics. And this song has powerful lyrics. My personal favourite lines from the song are not in every version of the song.

‘Would you kill the queen to crush the hive?

And would you choose water over wine, hold the wheel and drive?’

The song is written beautifully, and the chorus signifies the importance of being there for your friend (or family, or lover), no matter what decision they make:


Have there been any songs that have had a special relevance to your life growing up?

What mothers can do, in an unsafe country like India

I have been through a roller-coaster of emotions and thoughts since the rape and molestation cases in India have been the buzz. I am not talking about any particular case, all rapes are wrong, there aren’t levels to it. All types of physical molestation are wrong, no matter which part of the body is involved.

I always try to look for solutions and ways of being pro-active. It is important to me that all female  humans of India keep aside their aspirations, and desires and chose to be safe than sorry. Because in the end of the day, it we who are going to be exploited. Till a change comes in this country it’s all about being safe and not raising your voice for small skirts, late nights and drunken nightlife. We have to be educated and practical.

No one is guaranteeing a change right now, not even the women. But as mothers there are several things we can do.

1. Mentor your son– In India women are treated as a liability. This thought process is most commonly seen amongst women, women are the worst enemies of women here. When the women themselves are projecting themselves and their daughters and other women in general as inferior, or as a pain or liability, then the boys/men are sent the message of ‘ go ahead and dominate all you want’. Accept it, we are at fault here. As mothers it’s important to make sure that your sons especially, know that women are human beings just like them, they are important, they are equal, they have feelings and need to be treated with respect NO MATTER WHAT. The reason why men are able to grope, or rape, or tease or molest is because they have been taught from the very beginning that the woman is a slave for the world. And women enticing men on bilboards, and movies isn’t helping either. It sends the message that woman are willing to ‘bear all’ for money and to entertain the men, and let’s not be hypocritical here. Denial isn’t getting us out of rape nation. Raise boys to become men of honour, who can create a safe environment, who respect, value and protect women.

2. Communicate with your schools– Yes!, the school, get involved, ask your school if they’re having any program for students about ‘good touch/bad touch’. Are the boys and girls being educated about basic morals of physical conduct and boundaries. Compel them to conduct such workshops at-least once and year, and have class teachers remind students about these concepts in class regularly.

3. Educate yourself– There are workshops and seminars conducted for school faculties AND parents on this topic. Go with your husband, call your friend mommies, expose yourself to the psychology and thought process behind these happenings. Learn about the symptoms, signs, and experiences of the victims. Learn how to communicate with your children, figure out how you can discuss these issues openly in your circle of family and friends and come up with solutions. Don’t chose to be ignorant about it, don’t blame the victim and think you’re safe. Advice your childs school to actively participate in such workshops, or I would suggest change the school to one that cares about your child!

4. Communicate with your kids– Keep a healthy communication with your children girls AND boys. Make them comfortable enough to be able to tell you anything and everything. Make sure you teach them about  physical boundaries, what is expected out of them in terms of conduct with the opposite gender, at school or otherwise. Build trust, tell them you won’t be judgmental, that you’ll always support them. Make sure you know who they hang out with, monitor their television, cell phone and internet usage. Remember that you’re the adult, and how positively you project adulthood will reflect in your childs enthusiasm in growing up and being one him/herself. Speak to them about good and bad touch, there are books available online to buy, visit a library, ask your school counselor to help you out. There are videos also on YouTube that can be a great aid to this communication. There’s no excuse, your resistance is going to turn into regret, if you don’t take responsibility as the adult.

5. Better safe than sorry– Make this your motto. There are many things in life we want to do, but we don’t because of a variety of reasons. The same goes with your wants to wear certain clothes, speak a certain way, live a certain lifestyle etc. just like the many things you compromise, compromise a little on this for YOUR OWN safety. Reality check: we’re not living in a perfect world. Maybe in the future there will be a time where women will feel safe wearing anything they fancy, doing anything they fancy, at any time of the day. Hopefully that day will come. But till then it’s better to be safe. Carry a can of pepper spray, it’s 100% legal, be ready to knock anyone out, you have all right to protect yourself. Mentally prepare yourself and your daughters to be safe, and this will automatically reduce the fear that we are carrying around on a regular basis. The fear is not only there because men with ugly souls are around us, the fear is also there because we know we aren’t prepared enough. The fear is there because somewhere our poor parenting is resulting in such men also.

Please be proactive, leave comments below, start a discussion, voice your opinions, share your thoughts and knowledge on such issues. Be an educated, proactive and safe mom.

Batools life in pictures 1

Another series where I make it interesting with less words and more pics! Here’s what Batools been upto…


All ready for school. She vomited the first two she had to be left in class bawling for me. I thought it would be worse!, but she calmed down after day 3 and now says ‘bye’ while still in the corridor!

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Montessori activities at school


This part is what caused the healing process of being without me, nobody compares the slides!

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Her first weekday family event, this frock is gift. I love the shoes got them from Hollywood at Abids.

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She told me she coloured the sun in class, but just couldn’t tell me how. I later figured it out when I saw the whole classes work on the bulletin board, it was sponge painting!

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And then there was the collage. It’s bouncy Bens (A letterland character) ball.

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Her first ever school homework! And boy did she test my patience.

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The end result as you can see is well….I am happy! I didn’t think she would sit through it all and finish it one go. That’s a positive change I have seen since school began, she didn’t need much assistance, I was sitting beside her for support and helping her pick colours.


The obsession with books continues, I am running out of space, I have to get her a proper storage space for her many books. Batools totally loving reading,I thought maybe she would get over them once school starts and she’s exposed to various fun activities, but strangely enough it’s not so. I am glad! Will do a detailed post on her book collection so far, and her favourites with some tips.

That’s the round up mommies……..Many more interesting posts coming up..

Where have I been?

It’s shamelessly been over a month that I posted on this blog. I somehow was in a writers block and a lot has happened.


1. I am now a graduate, even though I haven’t received all my documents. My university is yet to mail those to me.

2. I have successfully completed 8 months of volunteer work at Focus High School as a student counselor.

3. My Sunday school celebrated its third annual day on Sunday April 27th.

4. My application has been accepted at the Institute of Holistic Mental Health – IHMH for a post graduate diploma in school psychology. This will be my first official step into the field of educational psychology/School psychology.

5. The daughter will start school in June InshaAllah. I have started to make mental notes of school supplies and waiting eagerly to get more information from the school. I am going to be a mommy of a school going girl! so excited. Have started to mentally prepare her for the new chapter in her life. Both me and the daughter will be at the same school, only I will go twice a week and she won’t know I work there. More posts coming up on that soon.

6. I am also a part of an NGO in the making. more details on that later.

My folks here from Dubai for some work and Batool is over the moon with excitement. I am trying to get myself organised, cooked Hariyali chicken today, recipe to come soon.

What have you all been upto?