Low IQ days

So today was Thursday, the only day I have off. And well I had an agenda, a very productive one. Didn’t do squat!

Dropped the daughter at school, came back up, and thought I’d take a nap. Now I blame the Hyderabad world for this, nothing really start till 11AM here, so I thought I’ll put an alarm for 10 and will go about with my day. But guess what? I didn’t! I slept till 12, shamelessly got up, counted the number of hours left before I embark on picking the daughter up from school, called me friend, spoke to her, called another friend, spoke to her. And then I thought maybe a cup of coffee will raise some shame.

So I went into the kitchen, ate breakfast standing, didn’t bother with the coffee. I thought After such a long time I am having a full day to myself and I like that I am chilling. Caffeine plan cancelled.

Switched on the lappy, checked e-mail, and by that I mean just checked didn’t open any mail. Maybe ‘viewed’ would be the right adjective. And wasted hours on FB, doing nothing, just nothing, reading this and sharing that. All the while my Super Ego kept saying “Do something!!!”. But I didn’t bother.

I wasted so much time online, that I got exhausted, switched off the lappy and lazed around till 3PM. Went to pick up the daughter from school, and basically did not do anything productive the whole day. And you know what! I have made the conscious decision to just not do anything today. Cos I am human, and living in this typa stress is just not right.

The daughter is watching Peppa Pig, and now I sit blogging, cos let’s face it I have done everything else there is to do in order to waste time!

You know you’ve really been up to nothing, when you message a friend and say ‘I am bored’…The only productive thing maybe that happened today was a load of laundry, which BTW i just dumped into the machine and the machine worked its magic.

Lazy days are okay. Today reminded me that I truly didn’t have one Thursday off since I came back from Dubai in May. While I was browsing FB, my brain told me, ‘you’ve been upto some proper low IQ shit today’ and that was an insight for me!, I thought Hmm, let’s blog about that!

What do I do? Introducing 'The 24 hour hussle'

I have always been a keen observer, and try to draw as many lessons as I can from not just my own experiences in life but also from those of others. There’s always a phase where certain wisdom is relevant over other. I call my recent discovery ‘the 24 hour hustle’. The interesting aspect of this theory is that it can be used in an humorous sence, it’s a multifaceted.

I have a very busy life, like any other mother on the planet. I however have been told by several people on several occasions “how do you manage so many things, especially with a child”. And while ‘where there is a will, there is a way’ applies here 100%, it is also the realisation that there are only 24 hours in a day, and this fact can be viewed with ‘glass half full, half empty’ perspective.

‘The 24 hour husstle’ is a way to keep myself motivated, the more I am able to accomplish in a day the more I learn

about the audacity of those 24 hours. There will be lazy days no doubt, but a recent introspection has helped me conclude that I have a tendency to work like crazy, and then just want to not even get out of the house. I don’t know if it’s the healthiest way to function, but it works for me. I shall clear at this point that I don’t usually have the luxury to take a break as often as I want or need. The more work you have on hand, the more productive you are and the more exhausted you will get. And that’s a fact, and with people like me the amount of work only increases. I have to admit though, I wasn’t as open initially. Around 5 years ago, I didn’t know I had this capacity. It’s only after having Batool that I realised that I needed to have more in my life to prove to myself and also to be a good role model to Batool and all other young moms out there. Being a mother shouldn’t and doesn’t stop you from achieving any goals, if anything it will motivate you. This is subject to how driven you are and your personality. The bottom line being; you are a human being before you are anyones anything.

So what is it that I do on a regular basis? The following are a regular part of my life apart from being a mother:

1. Studying

2. Blogging (my blog and other freelance blogging)

3. Job

4. Teaching at my Sunday school

5. Running my Sunday school

6. Volunteering and doing community service (this is rather random in terms of institution and type of work)

And this schedule is about to get crazy after my present holiday. Starting June I am going to have a 6 day working week. By that I don’t been I will be at my job for 6 days, but that the many things I do will take up 6 days of the week, and that one day “off” will be to get organised and catch up on left over work. This is me looking at the glass half full with my 24hours.

This way of life really helps you become productive, and automatically omits things that you don’t truly value. Your mind will make you conscious of the number of hours left, and you will prioritise, organise accordingly and realise that many things you held as “important” aren’t really that significant to you.

There will always be people who will demotivate you, or make you feel like you’re wasting time or are not that interesting anymore. Most of these people are lazy 😉 Trust me on that. They can’t understand the ‘why’ behind working hard. And there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I do come across days where the physical, emotional and mental exhaustion takes a toll, and I just want to hide somewhere, be surrounded by white and silence, but that’s all part of the hassle and is a tiny phase, if anything it will increase your strength.

It is important to surround yourself by people who appreciate you, and your work. This is a very important factor, you have to also know what helps you unwind, it would be a day out with friends, a book, a chill movie, a quiet few minutes, writing a diary etc. could be anything, but it has to be time efficient. You can’t spend more hours unwinding than being productive.

I have decided to work on a new agenda, ie to sleep less, I want to gradually bring it to 5 hours, and maybe a power nap of 15 mins (if needed) and eating less. This will be a simultaneous work on self-control that I am looking forward to, plus the reduced hours of sleep will “increase” the number of hours for being productive.

In the past three years, I have experienced a great sense of accomplishment and confidence from my multitasking routine. I have discovered my love for hardwork, not just for myself but in others. I admire people with a ‘no nonsense’ attitude, who have a focus each and everyday. I aspire to be that person, there’s only 24 hours that we get each day, precious 24 hours and how dare we waste them?

I have a new sense of appreciation for people with drive. Those who aspire to do something with the skills they have been gifted, and I don’t mean this in the career aspect, just as human beings. Only those who have discovered the potential in their personalities can truly be productive on a regular basis. We come across so many talented people who are not contributing to the world in anyway. If that person is you, wake up, and do what you need to, because it’s your right. With all this appreciation comes low tolerance for laziness. An aversion to those who spread the vibe of nothingness. It comes with the mind-set I guess.

What are your thoughts? (Comment, share, like)

Uncertainty

If there’s one thing that scares the human soul it’s uncertainty. Regardless of how much knowledge we have of the inevitable, no matter how many plans we make and how much we try to work on them, there’s always that doubt. There’s always going to be that uncertainty of how things will go, where our lives are headed etc.

Today was a good day, went out with the siblings, chilled, played bowling, Batool enjoyed it too. There are a couple of things running in my mind at the time, I am loving this break from life I am getting in Dubai. And as much as I am ready to face the challenges of a single mother, there’s always that doubt, that need to want to know the future, to know that all is going to be fine. At these times I remind myself to strengthen my faith in God.

Well, I was scrolling on my Facebook page, for some inspiration and came across this image

93.4

I couldn’t help but share it, looked for the whole chapter and read the translation. And wow! am I relieved! There’s nothing like an open conversation with your Creator. And this just lifted up my spirits. It is always good to know that your God has not and never will forsake you. As human beings we are constantly reminded of our dependency on others, and it can take a toll on the strongest of us.  And as a mother I feel the need to always be strong for Batool, and constantly give out positive energy, be the best role model of faith, determination, hard-work and clarity.

Life isn’t easy, but it’s good to know that there’s someone always watching you, and that verily the future will have better in store so long as the intentions are clean.

Accepting Ignorance

I just came across a quote that inspired me to write this post. This is going to be deeply intellectual and thought provoking readers….

“Whoever abandons saying, “I do not know” meets his destruction”- Imam Ali (as)

The above quote holds great significance in my life. It has been my point of realisation of many people and mentalities around me. This isn’t specific to Hyderabad per say, even though here is where I came to my realisations. I will break this quote down into three…Child, parent and society

1. Child-A child will never be afraid to say “mommy I don’t know”. He is willing to learn, and so he understands the only way to do so is just express that he doesn’t have the knowledge. This eventually dies in some kids, we call it lack of confidence or self-esteem, when the child returns home and has so many doubts. “why didn’t ask your teacher?” we say. This issue arises partially due to the extreme pressure on students in schools. When it comes to education we want children to be top notch, ‘know it alls’. But a child who isn’t willing to accept his ignorance will never learn, simply because he will never ask questions.

2. Parent- As parents we are the role models, we are older, more mature, more experienced than our kids, and this gets to our heads. Accept it! Many of us are guilty of this; we change topics when we can’t answer the questions of our toddlers, we are embarrassed when we don’t know something, and even more embarrassed to accept it. This happens to teachers as well, they will ask the child to “keep quiet”, “this isn’t part of your syllabus” instead of being human and accepting that they don’t know. Our kids didn’t come with a manual, and we are only humans, so why not accept our ignorance with finesse? This will be a great model for your child to follow at school too. He will not be afraid to face the truth, and ask questions an make and effort to find out the answers.

3. Society- This is very tricky, because this is the land of adults. In families I have noticed when the elders have a mind set of “i am infallible’ such dialogues occur. You can’t move forward with time if you’re not willing to constantly educate yourself, and for that the first step is to accept that ‘you don’t know’. The lack of this courage in turn sends the message to the whole society that once you’re a certain age, or become the only elders alive in the family, you can do whatever, no questions asked; in other words Being unreasonable is your right. What sets us apart from animals is our capability to evolve intellectually, learn, educate, move forward, and if we can’t accept that we don’t know something, we are definitely headed for destruction. No one likes a person living in denial of the obvious. We shouldn’t be proud about things that are going to make us backward, everyday is a learning opportunity, and to make the most of it, we need to accept that God has created a world for us to explore and educate ourselves.

Current favourites 1

You must know two things before you read this post:

1. I rather do current favourites every once in a while than irregular monthly favourites

2. I already wrote the post, and edited it, but somehow WordPress didn’t save it and I messed up with the key board and well, I lost it. This is my second attempt…..

Now that that’s out of the way, lets get started shall we?

1. Sally Hansen instant cuticle remover- We need to fix those cuticles at home sometimes, not every time do we have the chance to get out and visit our salons. This product is magic. If you like giving yourself manicures at home this product is a must have. Very easy to use, a little goes a loooong way, and it really does the job without having to use cuticle clippers. I ordered mine from Purplle back in the day when I actually enjoyed shopping there. Read here about my experience.

CAM00422

2. Skin Cottage bath scrub-Now this was a great find, this product will not satisfy anyone in the actual scrubbing department, other than some mentally. On the body it doesn’t do anything, with or without the loofah. So why do I like it? Well, it smells amazing, the scent is delicious, and it stays on the skin for a long time. It’s got a great texture, packaging is nice and sturdy, easy to pour out the product, label is lovely, the colour is pretty, it’s a total pamper product for it’s value. This could be a great gift to give to fellow mommies, and girl friends. I am looking forward to trying out their body washes and other flavours.

CAM02060

3. Vichy Aqualia thermal lib balm- This is the holy grail for dried, chapped lips or just everyday nourishment. I asked the sales girl at Health and Glow (Barkatpura) to give me something to revive my dead lips. Note: Vaseline doesn’t work, and my skin was going through severe dehydration. Anyway, she gave me this, and I thought 500 bucks for a chap-stick, that thought was followed by ‘it must work’, it’s Vichy also. I’ve never tried products from the brand and thought it would be a nice step to take to test the quality, and well, it’s on my favourites list! Highly recommend it.

CAM02331

4. Maybelline the falsies mascara- Yes, this is the one that’s all the rave online and in the YouTube beauty guru land. And it’s worth the hype. It’s a great feel good mascara, just the product on it’s on sans eye-liner will lift your face and make you feel glam. I love it, and definitely repurchase it.

CAM02333

6. Davidoff Echo- This is my all time favorite. I have a back up of this, that’s how much I’m in love with this fragrance. As you can see I’m almost done. I went through a lot issues to get hold of this bottle, not available in India, like most things are, and in Dubai they said the company has discontinued making it (OH the Horror!!). But I somehow managed to get my hands on it, but did the mistake of not picking up two instead of one. When I returned back home after my vacation, I asked the hubby to search high and low, and so he did. Till then I was using it sparingly. I wear it everyday, the dry down is so sensual, feminine, fresh, fruity floral, great for day and night time. I just love it.

CAM02334 CAM02336

5. Aldo bag- This was a gift, and what an appropriate gift it was. Any working woman should own a structures bag, that can carry all work stuff. I carry files, loose papers, documents and books to school. And this bag just does the job. It has zippers on the side that change the square shape to a trapeze and accommodate A4 size files effortlessly. LOVE IT!!

CAM01938

6. Kellog’s Oat bites- This will always be my favourite cereal. This is the best that Kellog’s provides in Hyderabad according to me. I love it, and it’s my go-to snack and breakfast preference. Unfortunately it’s only available in the below size and hardly ever available. I can’t make out if it’s because it’s in too much demand or not much demand. I discovered it when I was pregnant with Batool 4 years ago. And it’s been my favourite since, I tried to go on the special K bandwagon, and did enjoy the fact that it was readily available, but too sweet for me. Bigbasket always has stock of Oat bites, I order mine from there.Currently it’s out of stock, that’s why I always buy two boxes at a time at-least, that’s one thing I’ve learned in general, stock up whenever possible.

CAM00599 CAM00603

I shall stop there, what have you been loving lately?

Why juggle so many duties? and update on study life

I’ve always been someone who has to have my plate full. I need to be constantly doing something, constantly looking forward to a project, anything. Being in Hyderabad has taught be the importance of being this busy. It’s the only way you can avoid politics, gossip chains, your mind won’t allow you time for those thoughts to creep in. I am hence, allergic to being free. Frankly I rather complain about ‘not having enough time’ to complete the many tasks I have at hand, than be free enough to meddle in others’ business.

Having said that, I shall give you an update on my latest addition, my one year diploma in School Psychology started in July, and it’s from IHMH. I am over the moon about this one, it’s nothing like how my graduation was. The diploma has been drafted in such a way that you are compelled to study and it pushes the student to explore their potential. I am totally psyched.

CAM01732

Those are the first two books that arrived through mail. I LOVE studying, it’s the best feeling in the world. I regard myself as a student for life, I want to constantly keep studying, and it’s not for the  certificates, but the triggering of mind, and truly learning as a student. Plus I get to shop for stationery and study supplies which I love too! 😉

So why be this busy? There are times when I want people around me to process the many duties and responsibilities I juggle, give me some space, try to understand the tornado that runs on my head on a regular basis. But then I have to remind myself that I chose this type of life, I decided to keep this busy, I believe I can do it. Expecting from people to go out of their way to understand is irrational, because no matter what they can never comprehend the importance of these things in my life. People (in India) typically have the attitude of end everything after marriage, ‘you don’t need to study’ especially when you have a kid. But the fact is those are not the reasons why people should study in the first place, education is about overall development of your personality, so logically it should never end.

I am the first to encourage anyone irrespective of their age to keep pursuing some form of education, even if it is in their hobby areas, (crafts class, a culinary course, reading clubs) no matter what you will be afford to get something included into your life. And just being a part of something so fruitful is pure joy.

That’s the reason why I juggle, I feel 24 hours are meant to accomplish more than a few tasks each day. And with experience I’ve realised that; the more you include into your day the more you feel there’s time for more activities. There’s no excuse. 24 hours are a great responsibility we have towards ourselves, there’s always time for more, Always.

 

A rant of sorts . (I am human)

Maybe its me, maybe it’s my life. But people around need to learn to respect others. You can’t wake up in the morning and expect everyone to line up like soldiers and do the drill asked. It’s not possible. I have experienced time and time again the lack of respect for others in Hyderabad. No sense of space, no sense of hardwork, no empathy, and no regret. It’s like animals. Animals who just want what they want and don’t care about the other people around them.

It’s not a communication issue, because let’s face it, you can’t make a mad understand. You can’t ask a blind man to see, and yet you push, to try to explain and express, but its worse than talking to a wall. It’s worse.

Maybe I should make a ginormous bulletin board in my house and write down all the jobs/chores/to-do list items for the day, so that people would think twice before cramming it with their crap. As a mother you’re already on 24/7 duty, I hate it when I get so frustrated with added crap from random people that there’s no fight left, the option of fleeing away, or at-least the fantasy of it is all that’s there to distract me.

People here are lazy, selfish, self-centered, ungrateful, and have twisted values in the name of culture. Illogical living, too much haughtiness and disrespect. Anything you do in life requires, hard-work, persistence, and consists of inevitable road blocks. If we just understand that all of us are struggling we would just stop adding to the struggle of the other. It’s just too bizarre, too frustrating. We don’t own the lives, the bodies the time of others, so lets stop controlling what’s not ours.

Feel good, make a check list

So on and on again the Hyderabadi atmosphere will lead all moms into the deep dark side of domestic drama.

And I have the ultimate solution. A check list. A positive check list of realistic goals, goals that can be achieved on an everyday basis, not a week, every single day. Be it organising your little make-up collection or sorting out your shoes. As long as you do something for yourself, and keep your mind busy you are happy.

Somethings, people, attitudes don’t change. We are the only person we have control over. So lets make a better future for us one check list at a time and one child at a time. Make sure that our children grow up to be self-sufficient, happy, safe, and grateful and respectful to the people around them.

The drama is inevitable, that’s not something you can control, be it a family member, or any random auto guy. What can be worked on is only what you control. So concentrate on that, and make your life so busy that you’re too busy to be consumed by random low mindedness!

Stay positive mommys hang in there!!