ENTJ and career planning

Back in Nov or December when my counseling course at HAP was coming to an end we did a personality assessment. The MBTI is well-known and reliable personality test. I already knew I was an ENTJ as I had already done the test online ages ago, and wasn’t surprised when the result was the same. The only thing was, this one gave clear scores, and I actually am equally an ENTP and I am and ENTJ. However I identify myself more as an ENTJ. I think over the course of the past few years I have become organised and like structure in my life, maybe I didn’t recognize how much I wanted it then, but now it’s definitely clear.

MBTI Results

Haphazard living is great during vacation or when you’re taking a break. I tend to work on an inhuman level till I exhaust myself and then crave a long break, to not just unwind, but get energized for another hectic few months or year. I like it this way; I don’t like slow pace anything. Maybe that has to do with the little bit of hyperactivity that I possess.

This is one of reasons why I do not like having a job. The In-time, Out-time life. I prefer freelancing at my own convenience, working hard on one project then taking a breather. Seldom is it only one project though. I have a couple of things that go on simultaneously, and to that I add the freelance ventures. Storytelling is added to my repertoire and it’s amazing to mingle with students and through a story connect with them, build a relationship, because the stories I tell are interactive in nature, both the listeners and I get to know each other through the process.

Coming back to being Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking and Judging, I wasn’t surprised to see Psychologist in the list of careers. Definitely on the right track! I am currently half way through my 1st year of masters, and while I am thinking Counseling Psychology would be the ideal specialization for me, I can’t help revisiting the option of clinical psychology. The issue is just the commitment and work that needs to go into each. The second year is going to be one hectic year. And I am already finding it difficult to discipline myself for the TMAs of year 1. Well, there’s no excuse, everything has to get done. What I have realised though, is that I want to explore teaching. But not haphazard, pre-primary teacher type, but only in my field. Hence, I am going to attempt the UGC NET in July 2017, which is when I will be qualified to do so. The end goal is research in educational psychology. I have a weird relationship with counseling right now, while I have been told that I do possess certain skills to be a great therapist, I don’t believe I am quite there yet, or if I would ever be at that stage of satisfaction. One thing I know for sure is that counseling adults will never be my thing.

I have told myself one thing, that has totally changed my view on careers and motivates me everything I remind myself, that I am young and will be young till 70. After 70 is when thoughts of ‘I should chill and slow down’ should come into my mind. Till then, I need not create hurdles of “age” for myself. So what if I am not the ideal state in my life as I would want? As long as I still want it, things will happen.

Dr.Peter Kranz on Psychodrama at Roshni Counseling Center

Exposure, that’s what I think about every time there is a workshop in the city. Seminars and workshops held specifically for the people of psychology field help us in building network, sharing our knowledge and learning a tonne of new things along the way. I was super excited when Dr.Jayanti shared the invite of a session on psychodrama hosted by Roshni Counseling Center by Dr.Peter Kranz (professor at University of Texas Rio Grande Valley) who is visiting from USA.

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Having done storytelling, I was all the more interested, I want to explore how drama, and storytelling can help in healing. Psychodrama is mainly aimed at bringing about insight by enacting past behaviours. It is a spontaneous technique of psychotherapy, and can help people of all ages.

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For me the experience of being in a seminar like such helps in building insight. It’s not just for the purpose of learning, as psychologists or therapists/counselors it’s important to constantly be on a journey of developing insight about yourself. We are complex, ever evolving creatures, a mystery for us to resolve forever. Me being interested in research, I make a conscious effort to observe people around me, understand myself. Psychodrama helps in that, as a group therapy technique it’s interesting fun and has a seamless approach to addressing issues which otherwise would be difficult to deal with. Psychodrama was founded by Jacob L.Moreno.

The most insightful moment for me was through a simple activity wherein we were to pick an age where we were the most happiest. Chairs were placed in a line, each representing an age  (10,20s,30s,40s etc). And for me the happiest and fun was 10 and most difficult was the 20s. Well I am still in my 20s so don’t have anywhere to go beyond that, but hearing the peoples reasons for choosing the age groups they did made me realise there’s a long life still for me to lead. The lovely women, so empowered who were present in the session were talking about how satisfied they are in their late 30s or 40s, and for most 20s has been a period of struggle. So I am not alone!. And now I look forward to growing older and experiencing my 30s and learning more, and achieving more in life. Don’t know why I had created this mental block that the 20s are the time to achieve everything, and that everything in life will go downhill from there. The beauty of it all is that this activity was not a true session, we were all strangers, and it was Dr.Kranz’s demonstration of initial activities, and but how it helped me, and many others is phenomenal. This shows that psychodrama in its essence has a lot to give to participants.

Will definitely be exploring psychodrama and also a person to mention here is Susan Perrow who is a storyteller and writer who helps parents, teachers, and psychologists in healing patients through stories. It was through Deepa Kiran that I came to know about her, and am going to learn more about her techniques of healing. Her website has plenty resources and information on what she does.

If you’re a therapist, there’s another session on the 3rd of June, hosted by Roshni Counseling Center at 9AM, led by Dr.P.Kranz on stress management. You can simply register yourself by calling the centers numbers: 040 66661117/1118.

Unconditional Positive regard :)

Relationships aren’t meant to be stressful. I am talking about all the relationships we form during the course of our lives. Friends, family, lovers, spouses etc. They are meant to provide something beautiful, they are meant to liberate us.


Your friends shouldn’t make you feel restricted, your husband/wife shouldn’t make you feel bound, your family shouldn’t make you feel contrived. In my little experience in life, I have started to value the relationships that are consciously formed, we can’t change the people who are part of our lives because they’re linked to us by biological bonds. This makes it crucial for us to create an environment around us that makes us feel free, stable, connected and liberated at every step. For this first we need to know who we are, and what we are looking for in these friends, partners, lovers, etc.

upr31344115437730Some people are not capable of giving this freedom. Avoid them, they’re toxic, they will take everything you have and leave you wondering why you even bothered. These people are in majority, I am warning you. I learned the hard way, well, at some level I consider myself stupid beyond explanation of naivete. I really was taken for a ride, but learned my lesson, learned more about myself, and while trust issues may be part of my life for some more time, I have realised that it is not wrong to stand up for yourself, and demand the respect which was supposed to be given by default. When you let go of such people, they will reveal even more of their colours. But they will never see you the way you are, they’re blind to goodness, unfortunately. And if you’re lucky and strong you will get yourself out of the environment such people create.

I am glad I have a support system that makes me feel thankful to Allah every moment. Friends who know when to do what, how to make me laugh, when to provide support, how to be blunt and honest, most importantly they are 100% welcome me for who I am. It is important to have this bunch of people, and important to reciprocate these relationships with the same respect and sanctity. Apart from my lovely friends I also have a lovely partner who is supportive and liberates me, accepts me, has unconditional positive regard for me. The freedom that comes with adding someone to your life is something to be experienced, words can not describe them. I am content. And with the sanity, and faith I believe we all can be honest, and accept people, and demand acceptance, pity those who can’t get out of their bubble and enjoy life and relationships to their best. We only have one life on this earth, we ought to make the most of it.

Let’s make a conscious effort to not judge, have unconditional positive regard for people around us, so that we can enjoy every relationship to the fullest and feel liberated. It’s challenging, but definitely not impossible, and worth your while. Trust me on that 🙂

children till they're 18

It’s childrens day, and I thought today I shall share some information on how we can sustain the childhood for our children for long. These days children are going through problems that only adults faced, these range from health to emotional. Childhood diabetes, stress, anxiety, insomnia, fear etc. are just few examples of problems of todays children. So lets ponder over the following points, and remember that they are children till they’re adults!

1. Educate yourself- Psychologists all over the world are doing tremendous research on development during childhood. As parents and caregivers it’s important to always keep knowledge of children and their innate age-wise capabilities. This is important because it will help us not put too much pressure on the child. Familiarity with milestones is the key to providing the right care, responsibility, boundaries etc to your child. Resources like parenting magasines online or print are helpful, self-help books, or if you’re enthusiastic enough you could read texts books on life-span development, or child psychology.10173529_863366093697014_5291794490731707564_n

2. Birth order blues- Children struggle greatly when a sibling arrives. Sibling rivalry is common, but what is even more common is bias treatment by parents and other adults. The little one no matter how old he gets will be the little one, the eldest no matter how young he is is burdened with being the elder. Take a second and think, no matter how much we try to not give in, we do compare our kids. And this lets others compare them openly too. This phenomenon is undeniably common in India. Unsolicited advice is the expertise of elder ladies, especially the grandparents. Remember that no matter how many kids you have, you have to treat them according to their age, not their birth order. It is not the responsibility of the eldest to be the role model, it’s the responsibility of the parents to be role models. Putting that level of pressure on a child will only make him aggressive, lose confidence in himself, become anxious and self-demotivating. Let me bring this into perspective, take a tiny moment, and ponder over this:

In class 2 at XYZ school, the students are all in the age bracket of 6-7years. There are two friends both who are 6 years of age, but R is he youngest amongst his siblings and T is the eldest amongst his. Both these kids are treated very differently at home. Yet, they’re both the same age, possess more or less the same capacities of normal 6 year old, have similar interests, want to play and be active. We need to start looking at the big picture here. Our children are what their age represents, it’s not their choice to be born first or second or third, or alone.

3. Let them play- It’s important to give exposure, set boundaries and schedules, equally important is providing child time to play. And this play shouldn’t be restrictive, it shouldn’t be like a class, it should be free play, the child should choose his/her toys/games, do whatever he wants to do, let them create that mess, help them clean up after wards, but don’t program their mind to believe being a “good” boy or a “good” girl means doing nothing you like. Parents are very concerned about play time, and regard it as useless, but that’s not the case. Children learn the fastest through play, and they show their true personalities and talents when they’re not being penalised for every choice they make.

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4. The future adults- Children are the future of our society. They should be shown positivity when it comes to adulthood. Children who are surrounded by adults who are quarreling, or news that’s blasting about the horrible crimes committed, scare them. No child will look forward to becoming an adult if he starts associating negativity to it. Explaining to them about difficulties, and importance of faith, values, societal responsibilities etc will enable them to understand that life as adult will be challenging but it doesn’t need to be regretful.

5. No gender bias please- Snatching childhood from one genders not fair, girls are made to act older, more responsible from an earlier age. It is true that they emotionally and physically mature earlier, but that doesn’t mean they should start taking up adult like responsibilities. Responsibilities should be age and capability specific not gender specific. Simple chores like cleaning the room/closet, or helping set up supper shouldn’t be only a girls responsibility, the boys in the house too should help. Boys too shouldn’t be burdened with outside work, it’s good to allot some simple chores like a grocery run, but the house shouldn’t depend on a child, adults are the pillars of a home. Even while play girls should be allowed to play outside, just like boys. If the environment is unsafe for the girl, it’s unsafe for the boy too. They’re both precious and hold great relevance to your life, and none should feel they are inferior or superior to the other.

6. Look back- Make time to think about your childhood, what you liked and disliked, how you want to make the experience better for your children. Try to ponder over the methodology used to convey messages in your time, understand that not all are applicable in the todays world. Make a deliberate effort to bridge the generation gap between you and your children. Be humble enough to forgive, and stern enough to set boundaries, communicate and reason with logic.

I could go on and on, but the above 6 points are worth mentioning the most. Childhood is a very significant period of anyone’s life time, it’s the base or personality. Memories created and experienced at this stage have a lasting impression. Lets enable our children to have the best that they can, and have beautiful memories to give them hope for the future.

Shopping and book update

I went out, a very deserving outing alone…My friend wasn’t available as well, so I just had to hang out and chill away from the daughter. And well, I ended up spending. Has a few things on the list but got carried away…Lets dig in shall we?

I was at city center, and wanted to get a drum for the little one, she didn’t get the concept of it while doing homework the weekend before, So i thought she needs to experience it, even though it would cause great noise pollution. Picked it up at the toy store there.



Also picked up two white hair bands, a lunch box she’s broken hers, and also broker her water bottle, that’s second one this school year already!

Next stop Max, the daughter has suddenly grown tall, and needed a little addition to the wardrobe

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The green sleeveless hoodie is reversible! This is her first pair of jeans, loved the tiny print detail and the colour I was crossing my fingers they’d fit and they did, wonderfully…

Dropped by health and glow, had a very strict list on here, but I also sneakily picked up a new body bath/scrub and a bubble bath for Batool from Baby Biotique. Frankly I didn’t know Baby Biotique existed!!The surprise comes from the fact that I do enjoy using the Biotique products myself. I haven’t tried it yet, still have a little bit left from the MEE MEE one. Will do a comparison post on them when I do try.


The scrub however is phenomenal! Yummy! smells like the first lip gloss I owned when I was in school it was called ‘wet lips’..Yum Yum….


Got myself a key chain by daffodils from Crosswords, picked up a cheap water bottle for the daughter who is rowdy!


Coming to my book I placed an order on flipkart for few things, and one of them was my book!! ‘On Dublin street’ by Samantha Young…It’s an adult romance novel, but with a proper story, and an ending, 300 odd pages finished it in 2 nights….Great read, easy, refreshing, nice. I would love to see it as a movie, with the right screenplay and cast this movie will be a great one for sure.


I’ve decided to try out Indian authors, and hence I have ordered ‘Sorry, you’re not my type‘ by Sudeep Nagarkar, it’s cheap 150 but Flipkarts having a discount on it (Unlike Dublin street which costed 950 nucks!!) and sounds like a fine book. I’ve per-ordered Chetan Bhagats new book ‘Half girlfriend’ as well.

I also ordered a reference book, I am having a growing inclination toward learning disabilities even though I wouldn’t dare tread that path as career, it would help me understand it better, explain it better to parents/caregivers/teachers/students etc. and also for my present diploma.


It’s by Meenakshi Dave and I highly recommend it to Indian parents.

Also on the flipkart order was my daughter book ‘Bruno put your toys away’, already have the rest of the books from the series, she desperately wanted it, asked me several times and I couldn’t find it at crosswords, so paid double the price because of shipping and bought it.

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I am trying to get her TV time limited, even though she doesn’t watch any cartoons, we don’t have cable, we just download selected rhymes and make CDs for her. I have to get it down to 1 hour a day with a min half gap in between. So inorder to do that I have increased book time, now we have two sessions and we go through the charts I had blogged about previously. She’s enjoying the attention too, in the spirit of entertainment sans TV I ordered a finger painting set in the flipkart order…It arrived today evening, and well she enjoyed a lot and it got messy but it took a good 45 mins off the day, and the paints almost are over, Im going to buy more paint….

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As you can see, it comes with shaped sponges, tiniest pots of paint, few plain white sheets and few images to paint. For 210 plus 40 shipping I don’t recommend it, you can just buy a box of paint and give them to your child to finger paint. Nothing special in the box, a great gift though, if you have a birthday to attend want to budget it under 500! It’s not worth it otherwise.

Well that’s about it….purchased two pairs of shoes online as well…







Haven t taken a pic of the other one 😉 oops! Will note it in an outfit post….Need to get those done more often….What have you been upto?



The week that was too fast and life update

This week went fast!…Super fast. I have gotten into the school rhythm of my daughter and myself. Making to-do notes for each day she’s at school so I can catch up with everything I have piled up. Organising never ends. Trust me!. But the more I get done the more productive I feel.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I am taking a much needed break, alone. Have a tonne of work to accomplish (this always happens). When I am exhausted and desperately want a day out for myself, I tend to have a heap of work to do as well. But staying positive, I shall chillax and be alone and I’m not quite sure what I will do, but am just glad I’m going to be getting some peace. Both my buddies are busy, so it’s just me.

Now getting to the update, diploma officially starts July 1st, and it’s one serious diploma, with dead lines and a long list of assignments/submissions. Am I excited? HELL YEA!

I am also looking into starting my masters as soon as I’m done with my diploma. I don’t like the idea of doing your degrees like your school, however the aim is to be PhD by 30! so…..Anyway, was looking at colleges and MSc psychology is available at Ambedkar Open university. But the website doesn’t have detailed information on the course, will have to go there myself and check out. Also I don’t know anyone personally who is studying from there to get inside information on that.

Madras university was a bit of a nightmare. And just the fact that it’s in Chennai, no matter how “good” it may be, it’s just not practical, the Indian education system is way too screwed up for students who genuinely want to study. The curriculum was fine, but the books were hideous, too many errors, the centers don’t notify students promptly, the results are a joke, there’s no guidance whatsoever, communication is slow and via post which makes it insanely ridiculous. It’s all just too stressful. People who opt for distance education are looking for non-stressful ways to education, because they’re already busy with other responsibilities/commitments. And don’t get me wrong, working hard is different from being stressed due to irresponsible behaviour n the part of the university. I am all for working hard.

I am half considering masters from outside India (a girl can dream can’t she?).

Life is going fine, I’ve been slacking on my blogging, and it’s partly because the week is flying by! (Excuses excuses) hehe. I have to get my blogging more organised.