Blog Train: My Parenting Mantra- Mindfully dealing with the best

This is my first time being part of a blog train. The topic is ‘My parenting Mantra’. All the mommies part of this blog train speak from their personal experience. There’s quite a variety here; new moms, moms to be, moms for years, traveling moms, the whole nine yards! Learnt a lot from them and looking forward the rest of the posts from this train. Click here to check out all the lovely mommies part of this blog train!

Big thank you to Udita, blogger of WithloveZuzu for introducing me, check out her contribution to the blog train here….So let’s get started with my parenting mantra….

No matter how painful the pregnancy or delivery was, popping a baby out either by pushing or by having your tummy cut open is a walk in the park compared to the lifelong commitment to parenting. I realized this only after having a child. Becoming a parent is easy, parenting is not. Through experience, I have been able to conclude that it all boils down to what you want your child to become. Because parenting inevitably will be the basis of your childs personality.

I had an ‘aha’ moment one day trying to reason with my daughter and that was it. That insightful moment, between losing my temper and trying to be as adult, thousands of thoughts ran through my head and one thought struck hard. She (like every child) is the best of Gods creations. Which means she has the potential to be the best version a human being can be, and I need to respect that. And I need to respect her.That thought instantly calmed me down, this phase is just temporary I told myself.

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It is easy for us to think that our children aren’t “capable” and end up doing everything for them, we think of them as “helpless” and make excuses for them, we regard their intellect to be “restricted” and try to make decisions for them…You can add a zillion things to this thought and effect list! But the fact will always remain that the more we liberate them, the better they will be.

Respect is the basis of all relationships, be it with an adult or minor. And children deserve even more respect because they’ve committed lesser sins than you have, and each day are becoming exactly what YOU as a parent are molding them into becoming. Sounds rather scary, but being an adult isn’t all candy and cupcakes now is it?!

When a child knows that he is respected and has a place in the household, he/she will learn to think, empathise and listen to the parents. As human beings we are wired to want respect, it is what separates us from animals and other beings. We have the capacity to voice our needs and the scope to change ourselves according to lifes circumstances.We most definitely can reason with a child, instead of punishing him/her. We can explain to them what’s happening instead of wrongly assuming they won’t understand. Every concept in the world can be explained to a child, in a milder form, with a sweeter tone and patience 🙂

While parenting; I try to remain mindful that this little being might be acting unreasonable but it’s temporary. the tantrum is to understand their boundaries, the attitude is an observation of surroundings, every behaviour links back to them wanting to live up to the best of creations of God. What we feed to them, they become. And being the adult versions of the best creations of God, we need to take responsibility of our poor decisions and be strong enough to accept them in front of our kids (no matter their age).

I am grateful for being born a human, and I would want my children to not just feel that way themselves when they grow up, but also make the people around them feel thankful for it. Our end goals should be to give to the society few good humans, that make life hopeful and worth living. Just do our part. The worst human is the one akin to an animal isn’t it?

I shall stop my rambling here and introduce to you Veena the one and only ‘reading Momster‘, looking forward to gaining insight into her parenting mantra. Comment, share, like and spread the love 🙂

YouTube gurus I am loving right now

Always looking for a way to unwind. I seem to get bored with even my new unwinding ideas! YouTube has been one of the steady ones. And I am glad that in the smart phone world we are able to access YouTube whenever, wherever!

I would go the the lengths of saying that I have a relationship with my YouTube subscribers list, we are BFFs at this point. There are days I tend to lose interest in some of my subscriptions. However in the recent past I have been steadily enjoying few and wanted to share the love 🙂

  • Lily Pebbles – A UK based beauty and lifestyle blogger whose vlogs I am addicted to. She puts up a video every Sun and has recently also started podcast series with another YouTuber. I love her accent, her take on things, and most of all, I totally enjoy how honest and down to earth she is. In her recent two part Q and A video she embraces each question and is super open about her experiences as a YouTuber and the business of things. I also follow her on Instagram, and enjoy her Instastories.

  • Emily Norris– A mommy blogger from the UK. Yes Mommy bloggers are my saviors at times when I feel isolated in my motherhood madness. Her vlogs and videos are fun to watch, I get a lot of inspiration from her parenting with her three kids. I feel if she can do it with three, I should be fine!. I particularly enjoy her vlogs and she is extremely relatable because of her soft spoken nature, and truthful opinions.

  • Danielle Mansutti– She recently moved to the UK and I am totally enjoying her moving vlogs. I somehow feel empowered by his big move on her own to a new city. It’s a good feeling to see young girls following their dreams and taking control of their lives. Let’s face it, moving to a new country ain’t a joke! (She was living in Australia prior to her move just in case you’re curious). I totally loved this particular vlog where she unites with her pug after moving….I am not ven an animal kinda person, but this was emotional!

  • Niomi Smart– Also from UK (OMG are we seeing a trend here!) Niomi is a beauty and health blogger. I am thoroughly inspired by her healthy lifestyle. I am looking for inspiration to loose the baby weight at the moment, and anything that keeps me in the mind set is welcome. Aside from her health, I like that as a beauty blogger she has not lost her head while becoming famous. She’s humble and grateful for her achievement and I feel like I can relate to her in her vlogs. I also love the minimalist yet beautiful make-up she wear. I get appalled by beauty gurus who have a tonne of makeup on all the time, it’s not realistic and doesn’t appeal to me.

  • Kaushal Beauty – An Indian but in UK! She is hands down the most creatively inspiring beauty guru I have found on Youtube. Her looks are easy to do, and are beautiful. She knows how to transform simple looks to glam with her creative eye liner tricks. I think it’s the Indian in her who is not afraid of bright colours, especially in eye makeup. Most importantly, she is the sweetest and it shows through her personality. My favourite videos from her are the Indian get ready with me makeup looks. It’s nice to see her take on makeup when wearing Indian dresses.

  • The Uphill– A mommy from UK, also has another channel called A model recommends. I am subscribed to both, and discovered her on her first channel. Even though I still enjoy the beauty videos on that one, I am enjoying her mommy channel more. She has two kids under 2 and her day in the life videos are fun to watch. I relate to her as a mom who works from home and has a little baby. Her baby and Abbas are around the same age, and so I have been following her videos through her pregnancy 🙂 I like that her content is mature, and real. Mommies don’t have a glam life all the time, and she is not afraid to hide that. In fact I appreciate it and am inspired by her.

Over the years I have grown out of some YouTubers and seen some grow into people I can’t relate to anymore. I do appreciate how much YouTube has helped talented people show their talents and eventually become a brand. However, I personally enjoy YouTubers who stick to the aesthetic of making videos with the same passion, even though YouTube is their bread and butter, they don’t compromise on the roots of their channel.

Do you have any favourites? leave suggestions in the comments below, I shall happily expand my YouTube subscription list.

 

 

 

 

 

What do I do? Introducing 'The 24 hour hussle'

I have always been a keen observer, and try to draw as many lessons as I can from not just my own experiences in life but also from those of others. There’s always a phase where certain wisdom is relevant over other. I call my recent discovery ‘the 24 hour hustle’. The interesting aspect of this theory is that it can be used in an humorous sence, it’s a multifaceted.

I have a very busy life, like any other mother on the planet. I however have been told by several people on several occasions “how do you manage so many things, especially with a child”. And while ‘where there is a will, there is a way’ applies here 100%, it is also the realisation that there are only 24 hours in a day, and this fact can be viewed with ‘glass half full, half empty’ perspective.

‘The 24 hour husstle’ is a way to keep myself motivated, the more I am able to accomplish in a day the more I learn

about the audacity of those 24 hours. There will be lazy days no doubt, but a recent introspection has helped me conclude that I have a tendency to work like crazy, and then just want to not even get out of the house. I don’t know if it’s the healthiest way to function, but it works for me. I shall clear at this point that I don’t usually have the luxury to take a break as often as I want or need. The more work you have on hand, the more productive you are and the more exhausted you will get. And that’s a fact, and with people like me the amount of work only increases. I have to admit though, I wasn’t as open initially. Around 5 years ago, I didn’t know I had this capacity. It’s only after having Batool that I realised that I needed to have more in my life to prove to myself and also to be a good role model to Batool and all other young moms out there. Being a mother shouldn’t and doesn’t stop you from achieving any goals, if anything it will motivate you. This is subject to how driven you are and your personality. The bottom line being; you are a human being before you are anyones anything.

So what is it that I do on a regular basis? The following are a regular part of my life apart from being a mother:

1. Studying

2. Blogging (my blog and other freelance blogging)

3. Job

4. Teaching at my Sunday school

5. Running my Sunday school

6. Volunteering and doing community service (this is rather random in terms of institution and type of work)

And this schedule is about to get crazy after my present holiday. Starting June I am going to have a 6 day working week. By that I don’t been I will be at my job for 6 days, but that the many things I do will take up 6 days of the week, and that one day “off” will be to get organised and catch up on left over work. This is me looking at the glass half full with my 24hours.

This way of life really helps you become productive, and automatically omits things that you don’t truly value. Your mind will make you conscious of the number of hours left, and you will prioritise, organise accordingly and realise that many things you held as “important” aren’t really that significant to you.

There will always be people who will demotivate you, or make you feel like you’re wasting time or are not that interesting anymore. Most of these people are lazy 😉 Trust me on that. They can’t understand the ‘why’ behind working hard. And there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I do come across days where the physical, emotional and mental exhaustion takes a toll, and I just want to hide somewhere, be surrounded by white and silence, but that’s all part of the hassle and is a tiny phase, if anything it will increase your strength.

It is important to surround yourself by people who appreciate you, and your work. This is a very important factor, you have to also know what helps you unwind, it would be a day out with friends, a book, a chill movie, a quiet few minutes, writing a diary etc. could be anything, but it has to be time efficient. You can’t spend more hours unwinding than being productive.

I have decided to work on a new agenda, ie to sleep less, I want to gradually bring it to 5 hours, and maybe a power nap of 15 mins (if needed) and eating less. This will be a simultaneous work on self-control that I am looking forward to, plus the reduced hours of sleep will “increase” the number of hours for being productive.

In the past three years, I have experienced a great sense of accomplishment and confidence from my multitasking routine. I have discovered my love for hardwork, not just for myself but in others. I admire people with a ‘no nonsense’ attitude, who have a focus each and everyday. I aspire to be that person, there’s only 24 hours that we get each day, precious 24 hours and how dare we waste them?

I have a new sense of appreciation for people with drive. Those who aspire to do something with the skills they have been gifted, and I don’t mean this in the career aspect, just as human beings. Only those who have discovered the potential in their personalities can truly be productive on a regular basis. We come across so many talented people who are not contributing to the world in anyway. If that person is you, wake up, and do what you need to, because it’s your right. With all this appreciation comes low tolerance for laziness. An aversion to those who spread the vibe of nothingness. It comes with the mind-set I guess.

What are your thoughts? (Comment, share, like)

5 Tips for Breastfeeding Success by Himalaya

In our continued journey with Himalaya Baby Care, here’s a new article by Dr. Jayashree Keshav, an Ayurveda doctor, that shares 5 amazing tips on breastfeeding. I had previously posted an article by her on winter baby care. Dr. Jayashree

I hope all mommies out there can benefit from this amazing post, do share with your friends and family who may be benefited too!

1) Keep your baby close to you after birth: Lay your baby on your chest as often as you can, as it is believed that when your baby remains close to you, skin-to-skin, s/he will cue to breastfeed more often. It promotes a feeling of closeness and a strong hormonal response, which has been linked to breastfeeding success.

2) Watch for the signs: Look for early signs of wanting a feed including sticking out of the tongue, puckering of the lips and rooting for the breast. Crying is a late indicator of hunger. While you don’t need to stick to a fixed schedule, it’s always best to feed your newborn every one to two hours.

3) Get the right latch: You can get the right latch by getting the lower part of your breast and areola (an area of skin that is darker than the rest of your breast skin) into your baby’s mouth so that the nipple hits their high palate, which stimulates sucking.

4) Seek help: If you notice that your baby has lost over 10% of her/his birth weight, s/he is not ready to feed or is very fussy while feeding, seek help from doctors, nurses, family members, or friends.

5) Consider herbs to increase breast milk: New mothers who wish to enhance their milk supply may consider using Fenugreek. However, it is not recommended for use by diabetics or those who are on strict insulin regimens as it can lower blood sugar levels considerably. Shatavari is another herb that is known to stimulate milk production in new mothers.

I can back the 1st trick, as Batool was a preemie, and KMC at the NICU and at home helped me tremendously. What has worked for you? Leave your views in the comments below and share the love.

too much commotion I am exhausted

The last two weeks feel like a year with the amount of activity going on. I so desperately need a break. My sad life in Hyderabad with only 2 friends is becoming unbearable. I am feeling needy, stupid, and well just exhausted.

My folks are in town for a wedding and starting the construction of their house, which is in full swing now. There was a tiny pause for dasera and Eid and now it’s all sand everywhere. I don’t mind that, it’s just the chaos. The weddings bring with them late nights, a constipated child due to disturbed eating schedule, and add to that school. What really is frustrating to me are my dead lines. They’re so close, they’re touching my nose and even then I am unable to just get any work done. People are constantly visiting the folks, no schedule on that. Can’t blame them, my dad leaves in few days and the mother will stick around for a couple of months. I am hoping for a visit to Dubai just to get away from everything that is Hyderabad. In Jan maybe, but I don’t know. I don’t even have the energy to dream.

I hate the stuck helpless feeling. It’s the worst. I know I slack away days when I very clearly know when my submissions are due. It’s not that I am not inspired, it’s just that life is going by too fast. I don’t want to become 26! I am not looking forward to a year passing away, while I struggle to keep pace the whole time. I know people are living their lives like that, with vacations becoming nothing but week-end getaways. I just want the calm back. I don’t like this struggle, like I’m drowning and just want to breath enough to survive another minute. At times I have difficulty putting my finger on exactly what’s wrong. And that’s just sad. That’s just stupid, I know.

I am not unhappy, I am just waiting for the calm after the storm. But the issue I have is once the deadlines are done, I still haven’t figured out a one guaranteed relaxing day. Everything is dependent on others’ schedules even my own day of chilling. I’ve decided that I am going to do my masters full time. I need to socialise, make friends, have people ready to hang out with.

I just want to take a breath, and I shall and this time I’m going to make sure, my assignments are not left till the last moment, and I am not blogging a negative ass blog, throwing negative energy into the mommy world.

Where have I been?

I wish I could say hibernation, but no mom will have that wish fulfilled!

988780_548032251956615_778208176_nTime has been flying by, real fast. I mean it’s already February!!!. I have been busy in the past few months with my exams. I have just written my third and final year exams of B.Sc Psychology, and man am I glad!. The exams were in December, my mother had come in from Dubai so that I could study. So once they got over I had a long list of to-dos to accomplish, frankly I don’t even remember what was on them. One thing I am sure of was “me time” which hasn’t happened!.

I had made mental resolutions for the new year, and well I should be honest, I am not really cut out for this stuff. Going with the flow is the only mantra I can follow and that works pretty good for me. However this year I have given a title of exploration of myself and whatever is around me. People, places, things, books, movies etc. Just going to focus on gaining knowledge and pushing myself to do more. This ‘push’ factor is what’s majorly missing in the life of a mom, truth be told, no matter if you’re single or married or with kids, the inner motivation and ‘push’ has to come from you. It’s the only reliable source of motivation you will have, people come and go, thought provoking proverbs are read and forgotten, but the inner zeal to accomplish more in life should always come from ourselves.

The school I am currently volunteering at as a student counselor has been keeping me very busy as well, I had taken a break from it in Dec to concentrate on my exams and got into full swing after the they got over. Got my daughters admission done there too, I am officially going to be a mommy of a school going child! Am I happy or am I happy?!!
Taking admission in a school is a massive deal, so much to consider I guess it deserves a post on its own.

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My daughter who is 3.5 now goes to the sunday school I run. It’s a bit challenging to be in the same premises as your child, they somehow want you to always be with them.It’s a struggle I shall admit, but I am hopeful. This is a major problem with only borns and also preemies. They’re so used to being around their mothers, that it’s a bigger task for them to let go.

I have also been looking into some social work. I am very passionate about education. And truly prefer giving my time and skill to people who need it.

So that’s the update now, I was also facing a lazy writers block, which I am hoping I have now recovered from hehe.

See you soon……

 

Someone to talk to

You may be a working mom, a stay at home mom, a mom with toddlers, mom with hormone raging adolescent kids. But no matter who you are you need someone to talk to. Being surrounded most of your day with kid talk and disciplining, there is a desperate need for a sane conversation.

I find myself in this situation a lot. There is an insane need to just pick up the phone and call someone. But no one has the same life as you, no ones always available for a long hearty chat, not even your mom. This is one of the major challenges of being a mom, learning to be your own ear. If you have friends who are single, or with kids or without kids, no matter what, it’s not like how it was in school. No one is free. Maybe that’s why we have so many mommy blogs in the world wide web. Moms need to become their own supporters, their own friends and support system. Not in a pessimistic way, but it’s better to be realistic and move forward in life isn’t it!?

It would be nice if with a child we got a friend too. Like a promotion. Just when we feel we’re about to burst and need an outlet of our emotions, happy and sad, a magical friend will appear and be patient, listen, give advice, be there till we’re all unloaded. hahhah that would be something!

There have been some lonely days that I have gone through my whole phone list in my cell phone to see if there was anyone I could call. It’s either too late in the night, or working hours of the day, or just no one with whom you can make a connection. Being a mom and being lonely is inevitable and at the same time scary.

Seriously, what is the solution to our mommy dialogue crave?