The past and the present

I have heard this many times, “don’t think about the past”,  “Live in the now”. And like many such things I have heard, I know they will make sense to me only when they will make sense to me.

We are all unique in our abilities and it takes a certain insightful moment, a certain number of days for us to “get over” anything. Grieving loss is very important, but there can never be a number on it, a duration, a perfect method, we all have the right to go about it however we want to. And the most important thing in such times is having the right kind of people around you, who let you dwell in the sadness and in the right moment pull you out a little further.

I chose (unconsciously/consciously) to stick to the past, revisit it, think about it, ponder over it, and have made the conscious decision to stop, because I realised I am losing too much of my present because of the past I didn’t even enjoy. It’s not worth it. Not at all.

Another significant realization has been that we on a regular basis don’t tend to be grateful for simple things. This happens even more when we’re sad, I have decided to be grateful for the pleasant weather in the morning, even if it lasts only few hours, for the auto guy who is happy to use the meter, the student who sees that I  have run out of water and offers to fill  my flask, grateful for warm water for a long shower in the night while the daughter cooperates and sleeps, grateful for good writers who write good books so that I can unwind even if I manage to only read 2 pages…..Truly, when these small things become a great cause of pain for us a lot, then why not appreciate them when they’re going right?

I can’t afford to mess up the relationships in my present, for the wrong people I happened to be exposed to. Our experiences shape us, the negative ones make us the strongest, but we decide what from our life will define us. And I do not wish to be defined by my past relationships. I want to enjoy and reciprocate to the ones in my present. It’s not right to be worrying about what took so much courage to end! 🙂

Everyday, is a day for us to learn about ourselves and be better as human beings. Exploring ourselves is liberating. Feel free, it’s awesome. There’s no one and nothing stopping you but your mind. Ask it what it wants, figure it out and find your freedom!

Unconditional Positive regard :)

Relationships aren’t meant to be stressful. I am talking about all the relationships we form during the course of our lives. Friends, family, lovers, spouses etc. They are meant to provide something beautiful, they are meant to liberate us.

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Your friends shouldn’t make you feel restricted, your husband/wife shouldn’t make you feel bound, your family shouldn’t make you feel contrived. In my little experience in life, I have started to value the relationships that are consciously formed, we can’t change the people who are part of our lives because they’re linked to us by biological bonds. This makes it crucial for us to create an environment around us that makes us feel free, stable, connected and liberated at every step. For this first we need to know who we are, and what we are looking for in these friends, partners, lovers, etc.

upr31344115437730Some people are not capable of giving this freedom. Avoid them, they’re toxic, they will take everything you have and leave you wondering why you even bothered. These people are in majority, I am warning you. I learned the hard way, well, at some level I consider myself stupid beyond explanation of naivete. I really was taken for a ride, but learned my lesson, learned more about myself, and while trust issues may be part of my life for some more time, I have realised that it is not wrong to stand up for yourself, and demand the respect which was supposed to be given by default. When you let go of such people, they will reveal even more of their colours. But they will never see you the way you are, they’re blind to goodness, unfortunately. And if you’re lucky and strong you will get yourself out of the environment such people create.

I am glad I have a support system that makes me feel thankful to Allah every moment. Friends who know when to do what, how to make me laugh, when to provide support, how to be blunt and honest, most importantly they are 100% welcome me for who I am. It is important to have this bunch of people, and important to reciprocate these relationships with the same respect and sanctity. Apart from my lovely friends I also have a lovely partner who is supportive and liberates me, accepts me, has unconditional positive regard for me. The freedom that comes with adding someone to your life is something to be experienced, words can not describe them. I am content. And with the sanity, and faith I believe we all can be honest, and accept people, and demand acceptance, pity those who can’t get out of their bubble and enjoy life and relationships to their best. We only have one life on this earth, we ought to make the most of it.

Let’s make a conscious effort to not judge, have unconditional positive regard for people around us, so that we can enjoy every relationship to the fullest and feel liberated. It’s challenging, but definitely not impossible, and worth your while. Trust me on that 🙂

One year closer to death.

Hehe, I know sounds rather pessimistic when talking about a birthday, but hey! let’s be realistic! hehe

I don’t like celebrating birthdays (read fact #19), because I view them as my title suggests, but I do think it’s a good day to let others in your life know how much you appreciate them. Plus any other time of the year people won’t buy you presents (you shall laugh now)

Since 14th July marked finalisation of the Irans Nuclear agreement, the younger brother made brownie and sent me a pic, half of it was in celebration for my birthday and the rest for Iran. I accepted!

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So what happened on the 15th of July 2015? Well I had to back to back classes at HAP, and an exam in the second class. Was I prepared? Umm…No! I had missed three very crucial classes cos of the Chennai trips in the past two weeks, so I was lagging behind. However the exam went pretty fine and the whole day went in that. I did like the fact that my “new” year started off in a good tone, day 1 of the 27th year of life defined my life. I identify myself as a student for life, so Wednesday was a very good day.

After class I stopped at Archie’s to pick up a birthday card for myself from my daughter and also a mug. She’s too young to pick cards and presents, so I did it. One day she shall haul in a section at a shop count her pocket money and buy me a card or present. I shall patiently wait for that day. That day would definitely be special.

Reached at me paternal aunts place at around 9:30ish, had dinner, made the daughter sign the cards (yes I picked two, cos they were just too good). My younger paternal uncle and aunt had bought a cake, which I cut and the drill happened. Yummy cake, and when I reached home, I saw a present from them too! and it was the sweetest thing ever!

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16th July I threw a dinner for me girl friends. Haiking is my favourite restaurant in Hyderabad. I can eat their noodles, every single day. So it only fit that I treat me friends for a dinner there, and guess who joined? The Batool! The idea was to introduce me friends to each other, since they’re all from different parts of me life, and since I can remember, I always went to Haiking (Himayatnagar), and wanted to host my own dinner for friends at the round table. It was a dream of mine to have 8 friends, whom I could chill with. And it happened, even though 2 of them couldn’t make it. Two chairs empty but the heart is full with love!

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Got a pretty pink bag, I would not have dared to ever buy a pink bag, so it’s good to get presents that push me to try new things, and lovely bag has a long strap, I am into sling bags, plus the size is perfect (not too big not too small). A voucher from shoppers stop also awaits to be used! Thank you guys!

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It was a lovely birthday, felt very loved. Thank you all for the wishes. Eid post coming up next!

Spreading Smile Collection by Sarfaraz Banatwala

This post is about spreading the love. Yes, sharing good things so that everyone can enjoy them. My Oh so talented friend Sarfaraz (who is also a Doctor BTW), has been putting his creative side IMG-20141206-WA0005to work. And wow! the custom made products he has to offer.

Spreading Smile Collection is a one stop center for customised gifts.  He described the aesthetic of his business as; “adding a personalised touch of human emotions to your gifts”.

You should note that all these items are hand made and bespoke. And they’re made based on your budget, so there’s no need to hesitate to share a special gift with anyone. These gifts are made on prior orders only, they’re made for each client separately, so ordering is a must.

There are a variety of products in his collection:

1. Handmade scrapbooks- these scrap books are available in two sizes a mini size anIMG-20141204-WA0005d an A4. You just have to work up your budget and explain what you’re envisioning as the end result and Sarfaraz will do all the magic. This is especially great if you’re trying to celebrate a relationship, or a phase in your life. I can’t wait to get one made for Batool for her upcoming 5th birthday.

2. Hanging wall signs- Fun and quirky wall hanging signs for a friend or yourself

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3. Message boxes- This is great for the festive season coming up, share with your friends and loved ones for valentines day. Let them know how much you love them

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4. Photo Collage- Customised photo collage, this is the favourite amongst most of his clients. Family photos, favourite instagram pics, any theme you want, it will be decorated tastefully and customised to your liking.

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5. Messages on playing cards- This is a cute way to express your feelings or have random quotes of jokes all on a deck of cards, share them with friends, or go through them for inspiration

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6. Customised chocolate box- An assortment of chocolates in a one of a kind customised box is a great gift. Who doesn’t like chocolates?

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7. Photo Bouquet- This is the most unique idea, we’re obsessed with pics and a photo bouquet is such a fun way to display your pics and gift them to a special someone.IMG-20141205-WA0050

If you’re interested, contact:+918297545752 and share the love…

Current favourites 1

You must know two things before you read this post:

1. I rather do current favourites every once in a while than irregular monthly favourites

2. I already wrote the post, and edited it, but somehow WordPress didn’t save it and I messed up with the key board and well, I lost it. This is my second attempt…..

Now that that’s out of the way, lets get started shall we?

1. Sally Hansen instant cuticle remover- We need to fix those cuticles at home sometimes, not every time do we have the chance to get out and visit our salons. This product is magic. If you like giving yourself manicures at home this product is a must have. Very easy to use, a little goes a loooong way, and it really does the job without having to use cuticle clippers. I ordered mine from Purplle back in the day when I actually enjoyed shopping there. Read here about my experience.

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2. Skin Cottage bath scrub-Now this was a great find, this product will not satisfy anyone in the actual scrubbing department, other than some mentally. On the body it doesn’t do anything, with or without the loofah. So why do I like it? Well, it smells amazing, the scent is delicious, and it stays on the skin for a long time. It’s got a great texture, packaging is nice and sturdy, easy to pour out the product, label is lovely, the colour is pretty, it’s a total pamper product for it’s value. This could be a great gift to give to fellow mommies, and girl friends. I am looking forward to trying out their body washes and other flavours.

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3. Vichy Aqualia thermal lib balm- This is the holy grail for dried, chapped lips or just everyday nourishment. I asked the sales girl at Health and Glow (Barkatpura) to give me something to revive my dead lips. Note: Vaseline doesn’t work, and my skin was going through severe dehydration. Anyway, she gave me this, and I thought 500 bucks for a chap-stick, that thought was followed by ‘it must work’, it’s Vichy also. I’ve never tried products from the brand and thought it would be a nice step to take to test the quality, and well, it’s on my favourites list! Highly recommend it.

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4. Maybelline the falsies mascara- Yes, this is the one that’s all the rave online and in the YouTube beauty guru land. And it’s worth the hype. It’s a great feel good mascara, just the product on it’s on sans eye-liner will lift your face and make you feel glam. I love it, and definitely repurchase it.

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6. Davidoff Echo- This is my all time favorite. I have a back up of this, that’s how much I’m in love with this fragrance. As you can see I’m almost done. I went through a lot issues to get hold of this bottle, not available in India, like most things are, and in Dubai they said the company has discontinued making it (OH the Horror!!). But I somehow managed to get my hands on it, but did the mistake of not picking up two instead of one. When I returned back home after my vacation, I asked the hubby to search high and low, and so he did. Till then I was using it sparingly. I wear it everyday, the dry down is so sensual, feminine, fresh, fruity floral, great for day and night time. I just love it.

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5. Aldo bag- This was a gift, and what an appropriate gift it was. Any working woman should own a structures bag, that can carry all work stuff. I carry files, loose papers, documents and books to school. And this bag just does the job. It has zippers on the side that change the square shape to a trapeze and accommodate A4 size files effortlessly. LOVE IT!!

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6. Kellog’s Oat bites- This will always be my favourite cereal. This is the best that Kellog’s provides in Hyderabad according to me. I love it, and it’s my go-to snack and breakfast preference. Unfortunately it’s only available in the below size and hardly ever available. I can’t make out if it’s because it’s in too much demand or not much demand. I discovered it when I was pregnant with Batool 4 years ago. And it’s been my favourite since, I tried to go on the special K bandwagon, and did enjoy the fact that it was readily available, but too sweet for me. Bigbasket always has stock of Oat bites, I order mine from there.Currently it’s out of stock, that’s why I always buy two boxes at a time at-least, that’s one thing I’ve learned in general, stock up whenever possible.

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I shall stop there, what have you been loving lately?