The sheep in the herd

One amongst many, all doing their degrees and masters and just the same. While this first sentence may resonate with you on many levels, I am talking about the field of Psychology, mainly counseling.

India doesn’t have quality control in this regard, in Hyderabad alone there’s a school pooping up every month, all wanting a school counselor to complete the over all services of the school. It is mandatory for schools to have a counselor, it is important that the students get that kind of support, not just for remedial help, but for emotional health.

But where do we get ourselves registered? Who should a counselor go to for quality check? We do not have a counseling Association, that can license therapists in the field. Anyone who is interested in psychology is able to and allowed to pursue a full masters degree in the field, but no quality control. Passion, and inner wants drive people into the field, some come into it for money (just like in any other field). You will also find courses in counseling taught by people who may have been in the field but do not hold the qualification to be organising such courses. Who is to stop them? Who asks what their PhD is in? we are merely impressed by the ‘Dr.’ in front of their name and presume they may have attained it in counseling, or child psychology…

I have a belief. Just because you have been in a particular field for xyz years doesn’t make you a professional in it. Yes, it’s partly the fault of the country that we do not have a council to keep track and license our counselors, but it doesn’t stop the frustration.I wish to be recognized for my efforts, I wish to me known because I am valuable everywhere in the world not in one country or city. I believe it is important for us to try to reach that level of [proficiency if we want ourselves to be called a part of a field. Right now counselors have it easy in India, I can speak more about Hyderabad, it’s all about generating good clientele. What the client expects from the therapist, what he gets from the therapist is upto the client to decide, but the client has no clue how to pick a reliable one in the first place, they do not even know what to expect from a counseling session! This is even more dangerous when people deal with children and don’t even know the basic skills of counseling children. The intention may have been good, but many children get scarred for life by poor counseling, they lose hope, and trust in adults all together.

Point being? I rather not be in the field till the field decides to give importance to those who are not just passionate about helping people, but hold the qualification and skills needed for the job. I rather do something else in the field, or try to get recognition in another country. Universal recognition. Quality control, not money making.

 

 

Why so dependant?

There are all types of women in the world, but when you become a mother, when you do the mothering you change. I believe there is something that takes over, a form of dependency. Because we spend endless amounts of time taking care of a little person who is dependent on us, we want similar pampering, we want similar over the top love. We forget we are adults and supposed to take care of ourselves.

Within India, I find so many girls that look forward to the yearly vacation or monthly escape to their moms homes. That’s a sorry way to live. It’s sad, and against everything an adult should be. We forget that life is about everyday not the few days of vacation with the parents and siblings. Why does it become so difficult for us to take a stand and demand a few minutes of peace everyday? Why can’t we have a vacation where our true family now is?. It’s an Indian thing, no matter where in the world you go, Indians want the extra mommy love, no matter how old they are. And here’s where the double standard also come in, as women we want the mommy escape, and given a choice maybe all of us would live with our moms forever, but when our husbands want the same; it seems off. Lets both get independent, independence is not a gender specific characteristic. Lets both become sufficient for each other, take from the parents the extra not everything. Lets make each day our everything, lets focus on growing together. Lets stay positive.

Image courtesy Happinessnslavery.

Happiness is where you want it to be, there will always be hurdles in life, and your mom isn’t going to be around all your life shielding you. Instill values of independence in both your sons and daughters, so that they are stable human beings able to handle what life brings their way. Why be dependent? Why not be happy instead?