Living in FOMO

See I didn’t know how to describe this feeling till I came across few weeks ago, FOMO. That’s what my twenties have been about. And while I slowly reach the end of my 29th year of life, that’s how I can describe my twenties.

Hindsight is a terrible thing, it can make you feel guilty, smart, stupid, naive etc. And I can’t help but look back at my twenties when I am so close to ending a significant era of my life. There are many TEDx talks on this issue, make twenties your everything, or twenties aren’t everything. Everyone has a point of view, and a lot of those points seem logical, reasonable, understandable, but nevertheless don’t calm my soul.

You see I didn’t ever make a concrete plan for myself, I was only 19 when I got married. To be honest, I didn’t even know the significance of having a plan in the first place. But with time, I realised that the sane thing is to be the best that you can. Achieve what you’re capable of, and hustle for that.

My twenties, I lived in FOMO, and when I asked myself what exactly those things were. I strangely, with a broken heart had to succumb to accepting that I actually was in the FOMO on my twenties. It doesn’t get disappointing than that. Nothing I have done in my twenties has given me leverage for my thirties. Isn’t that what it’s all about in the end? Everything we do consciously has to eventually yield some fruit. None of the seeds I sowed, are worth jazz for my future. Highlights include a degree via distance in Psychology, a career stream I am no longer interested in because it requires dedication and higher education. I started a Sunday School, and Yes, Allah will reward me in continuity for this venture. However due to my health I’m not able to go as regularly as I used to. I spent 6.5 years married, trying to make things work, only to end up divorcing. Wasted the crucial early twenties in this. Got married again, and have a baby boy too. And as we all know babies bring a big gigantic comma if not full stop to your life. The struggle of adjusting to a new home life, a new partner, a new marriage is on another level. A simultaneous custody case in court for the daughter, drains energy out. I won the case and have her, and working on damage control.

I am not anti-struggle. I just want a different struggle now. I want a struggle that takes me somewhere, a struggle that has some promise. Otherwise I will remain in this state of unrest, irritated, in quarter life crisis, constantly confused, pulled on one side spiritually, and struggling to survive through every worldly issues.

The highs and lows are extreme now, emotionally it’s draining to be a mom, add to that someone who actually wants to be more than that. Simply because I have the potential. How does one get clarity, when the clouds of disappointment are always around? Where do you go for support when you have only one friend in the city? How much can you burden others with your same unresolved questions?

One thing I know for sure is that the thirties shouldn’t have to be this way. But unless I figure things out, I will be aimless squandering like a nomad. What do we do, to not live in FOMO?

Fashion Friday: Shoes I just cant get myself to wear

My oh My!…Shoes can do to an outfit what no one can imagine. All moms out there have all the postpartum weight which can make you look shorter than you are. So who comes to the rescue? High Heeled shoes!…

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Now I’ve always loved those skinny heeled shoes with all the glam and feminine appeal, however I could never get myself to buying them because of the practicality issue. When you’re with a toddler you have to be comfortable in the shoes you wear, you’ll have to run behind them, take them to the loo, and what not. If you’re not used to running in high heels you should just spare yourself the embarrassment. Here are some that I wish I could don more often so that I would finally get used to the high heeled phenomenon.

ImageI am working on many hardcore new year resolutions, and one of them is going to be donning these shoes and having a more fun shoe collection. I prefer shoes over sandals, they are more comfortable for me, and also very versatile, they can easily be worn with Indian and western ensembles.

Fashion Friday: On my Wishlist

Nothing can make you happy like a wishlist. I make many in my head, and almost never purchase the items on my wishlist. But hey! no harm dreaming!

Here’s what’s on my wishlist for now, and I will most probably be purchasing the watch. I am not a watch person, never been one, partly because I never found one that really spoke to me. This watch does, it’s white just like I wanted, it’s chic, it’s leather and timeless, and most importantly the ‘FCUK’ of the brand is not in your face like it is on other varieties from the brand. I am not a fan of owning products that show off the label in bold. I like subtle references instead.

ImageDress: FCUK link

Watch: FCUK link

Top: Forever New link

That’s whats happening in my mommy wishlist, any recommendations?