Batools Birthday Part 1 of 2

May 19th! Batool turned 5 years old!. I can’t believe it, I don’t feel as though the 5 years just “flew by”, however I do feel like her getting older is making her less controllable hehe. I have to beg for hugs and kisses, and I know soon she will be too heavy for me to lift and grab and squeeze….IMG_2693

It’s an accomplishing feeling, we are so career driven and women in general especially younger women, my age group tend to weigh their accomplishments in terms of educational qualifications and jobs. There’s nothing wrong in that, whoever for me no matter what the most significant thing in my life would be that I am a mother. It’s the most satisfying thing.

Stopping my random ramble, I am dividing her birthday post into two parts, the first part is going to be about what we did, and second part about her presents. I will review and discuss them. So here’s what happened…..

The day started off with a visit to Dubai Festival city play area, which she enjoys a lot.

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Then came the cake cutting….

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Next post coming soon…

Dubai vacation.. Update and Highlights 1

Happy New Year mommies!

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I have been off the internet for quite some time due to internet issues with my lap top. But now it’s fixed and it’s time for an update.

My flight got delayed royally, it was not fun to be stuck at the airport with a kid who desperately wanted to just land in Dubai. This made the plane journey even more exhausting for me.

Dubai is great, the weather is awesome, for me it’s an experience of mixed emotions. I get slightly depressed just absorbing the goodness of a developed country, a country I was born and raised in. And i definitely can’t help comparing it to the rape nation.

The highlights thus far have been:

1. Being able to get out whenever, and walk without having to think 100 times about safety. I have taken the Dubai metro, I have ridden the public transport. Got a Nol card too, makes me feel so empowered. Ive gotten home back after 3 AM, with my brother/s. Nothing I can do in Hyderabad ever!

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2. Batools loving the exposure to outside, we haven’t done anything specific for her yet, but she’s enjoying spontaneous outings with the family

3. 31st was great day, I got my much wanted casual outerwear from HnM. We went for a dinner and drive. Batool was taken care of by my mom. Also I have ruled out that I do not enjoy steak.

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4. Dubai makes me think about moving here. But life isn’t up to me.

5. Watched Horrible Bosses 2 at VOX in the MOE  Highly recommend it. The movie is insane, and its the kind of comedy movies you can watch multiple times, cos the jokes and acting is all too good.

6.  I finally wore my new studded flats, I was too scared to wear them in Hyd.

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6. My bros cam is great for selfies. Took this one at the union station

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I shall be posting highlights all throughout my trip apart from my regular posts. Have a positive year everyone!

Where is happiness?

Emptiness takes over every marriage, for some it happens earlier for some later. There’s no set time to it. Marriage is more complex than newly weds comprehend, and the married are still too confused to explain it. Happiness seems lost, a vacuum is felt, it’s not gender specific. It’s not entirely dependent on factors like kids, in-laws, extended family, society, work, exhausting responsibilities, financial stress. There’s no indication, it just happens. It just does. And with the exposure to media, it’s becoming even more easier to consider “quitting” the marriage and “moving on”.

We are complex beings, we are human beings, the most unreliable recourse on earth. But it is we who can make a change, it is us who can DO something, solve problems, THINK about them, consult those with experience. We shouldn’t be quitters. We should be role models, we should be able to look beyond our understandings and perceptions, we are the ones who can truly educate ourselves. If we can’t act educated, then why do we believe ourselves to be superior to animals?

In fact our music and lyrics are making us think like animals. Social sciences phrases such as ‘social animal’, ‘party animal’, are making us think we’re very close to them not just biologically but spiritually and mentally. ff we can’t think about others before we make decisions, if he can’t look beyond the present problem, if we can’t keep hope, what’s our purpose?

Moving forward leaving FB behind

I have been under a dark spell these couple of days. There are many decisions we make in life, and don’t regret, however over time negativity gets attached to them when we look around and get exposed to the world. Life isn’t meant to be all candy floss but we as humans always tend to want perfection. Perceived perfection of anothers life is the worst, it gives rise to unrealistic hopes which eventually take over your emotions and leave you confused and lost.

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Thinking regularly, pondering over life, trying to pick up on patterns of stupidity help us to be wiser. I am a big fan of thinking. And I realised that finding time was becoming an issue with each passing day, and my list of to-dos be it domestic or personal were just increasing. Facebook has been taking up a lot of that time. Meaningless, unfruitful browsing. I decided to quit, just to see if it makes any difference. And it did, within just an hour, when I didn’t have that tab to open anymore, I started to browse for information, read more, explored the internet, spent time with the daughter. I felt good that I didn’t get any updates on the fabulous life of the many “friends” I had on my list. It’s sad when we live our lives just to show them off on the web. We are deliberately making an effort to live the life of a show off, with good or bad intentions, doesn’t matter. We have been consumed by taking pics for the sake of posting them up, we are losing moments trying to capture them on film, and eagerly tweet/fb/instagram them. We are living moments via the net, and it’s not normal, it’s not human and it’s not fun. It’s just not.

What was bothering me was the bombardment of information that I wasn’t keen on receiving, there isn’t envy when I see fellow school mates succeed. But there’s a pinch, the question of ‘what are you doing?’ and ‘what have you accomplished?’ and I realised that I don’t deserve to scrutinize myself. Truth is my age mates don’t understand what I have accomplished because they’re only now getting married (at-least most of them). They can’t appreciate or value motherhood, the hardwork that goes into it, the level of accomplishment that it is. And I can’t blame them, and I am happy that they’re entering marriage when they’re stable, emotionally happy and ready for it. Then again, I don’t need to build issues, and then waste time trying to resolve them. It’s not practical, it’s not what I need in my life. And as adults, life is a series of constant decision making, and the older you get the more complex these decisions become, the more effect they have on others and most importantly they start defining you more.

I realised that I am way more happy to live in my bubble than be consumed by other people and their lives. I don’t have a lot of friends in Hyderabad, actually I can count them on my fingers, on one hand! But I don’t need friends sitting in a different country who can’t benefit me in anyway. We are connected via news through fb, but in reality half of us don’t give a shit. We would take maybe 2 minutes out of our lives, if we found out a fb friend died. Harsh truth, it’s bitter, it’s a reality bite. You want to surround yourself with happiness, and love, not the illusion of happiness and love that the internet provides. Anyway, my philosophical self is happier without fb.

I am moving forward, and focusing on myself, as it is being a mom takes that whole segment off your brain, it’s a whole exercise that requires warm up and appointments with your brain to think about your own happiness and life. I speak of fb as though it’s a breakup,hehe but it’s just been a weighing chapter of my life that I want to close and never revisit. I don’t have time in my life for that, I only have time for me and my family and happiness.