House arrest

I’ve been busy, that’s an old story at this point. I’ve been busy with life that gets me out of the house every single day! It’s not the same thing though, some days it’s class, some days it’s school, some days it’s chores, etc etc. You get the drift.

But since last Saturday I have been having severe lower back pain, which has made me unable to do the many things that I do outside the house. Top it up with ‘absolute bed-rest’ by the orthopedist  (Who BTW I recommend for all your bone needs, he’s v good; ‘thorough’ if you may) and you’re game for boredom. So really what have I been doing? I don’t know how time has passed and another Saturday came. I will go back to work on Tues. But I’ve realised a few things in these days of rest.

1.I deserve a break! it actually felt good to tell everyone I won’t be available, be it school, class or madrasa. I just told everyone to just “manage”. I don’t know if it’s me in my little head; that I believe the worlds weight is on my shoulders and shit won’t happen if I don’t move. But everything happened. Everything happens, Life goes on. This is a relief especially considering that I plan to move out of Hyderabad.

2. aint that bad! I was going to blog about the pathetic service of Amazon, but that I’ve decided to put that aside, because I received my book, super early and it has been my savior. Sh*tty mum is a must read! (review coming soon, I’m almost done), give it to your friends, buy it for new moms, gift it to your wives/sisters! Everyone deserves to have a copy of their own. This book cracked me up like Gordon Ramsays autobio did. Only this is hilarious from beginning till the end. This also made me realise that I should just buy myself more books and take time out to laze around and read. It aint no crime!

shitty mum3. I am not the stay at home typa person anymore! This is probably the biggest realisation, I can’t stay at home, I am craving a walk, stood in the balcony for good 20 mins just to “see” the world. I was never this way, this is the new me I guess. Just like keeping busy, no matter how much it tires you, you’ll still like to be busy. I have discovered that I no longer can be home. Soooo looking forward to meeting the 450 kids at school and the holy little ones at the madrasa.

4. There’s an uncomfy phase to divorce, I can and maybe should just write a book on this. I don’t know how the divorce experience is for people in other cities or countries, but it’s pretty awkward here, especially if you’re surrounded by people who know your in-laws but aren’t related to your in-laws. It’s just weird. My hospital file still says ‘Mrs’ and ’19yrs’ for age, but when the concerned person changed the raggedy old file and moved papers into a new one, she copied the same details. I didn’t know that this happened BTW, I submitted my file, and waited in the seating area with my ‘sh*tty mum’ book, floating on a cloud of humor, and when the Dr. saw my file he said “still 19?” I responded “no” , and well, he changed the age, I wanted to add “not Mrs also”, I don’t know what stopped me though. Sometimes I feel I say shit like it doesn’t mean anything, and don’t want to be taken for a fool, but hey! it’s a fact init!. I am comfortable with my Ms, Mrs, Mx, or whatever, but how come we think about other peoples reaction? How come we are taken aback by their judgement? At this point I feel we should just accept that we will be judged by anyone walking and just do what we do best. Muhahaha (Evil laugh). I changed the ‘Mrs’ to ‘Ms’ BTW. Need to set the record straight on that one. Maybe I should learn new ways of handling the situation without looking childish about it (That shall be difficult considering my personality). Sometimes I just feel like screaming, announcing it to the world “I am divorced” just to take the “suspense” off my life. Nip it in the bud, let everyone know, wear a t-shirt maybe that reads ‘happily divorced’. (If you have ideas leave them in the comments below)

I also have a theory like Maslows hierarchy of needs, about relationships. Let’s call it ‘Syedas hierarchy of relationships’. Now;  Imagine a pyramid and at top of the peak is being ‘happily married’, just below that is ‘happily divorced’, mind you, not courtship, or dating, or engagement or any of that. NONE of that. That’s my thing. It’s a two level pyramid I guess then. Everything else is meaningless, and only that is the truth, according to me, you can differ. Many psychology theories are questionable including Maslows.

5. Men in Hyderabad need to learn self-grooming. This is just general advice, outgrown beard, shabby hair, ill fitting clothes, you know what I’m talking about. You don’t realise how ill-groomed they are till you see someone who is well-groomed (which is as rare as a shooting star). Here’s a fact, we don’t see ourselves, we can’t unless there’s a mirror, so we should have the manners to consider how other people visually perceive us when we step out of the house. Hyderabadi men need a lesson or two in this. I can blog a two part series on the topic. If you find well-groomed men you’ll find them in doctors, go to LVPrasad, you can make out who means business there, people who know their eyes. Ditto with me Ortho Dr.  apart from being good at what they’re supposed to, you don’t mind bad news about your health when it’s coming from a person who took out 5 minutes to trim his beard! I’m sure there’s some psychology theory in there too! Don’t get me wrong, there are some proper appalling doctors out there too!

So that rounds it up, I shall resume laying around as today is the last day. Will finish off the book and write a review soon. I have so many blog posts pending that I am not going to bother building a guilt pool for myself 🙂

Randomness in pics

I had been taking pics over the past two weeks of what I am up to, and boy was I busy! So here’s a quick rundown of what I was upto:

Indulged in some proper junk post class on the way home…


Magnums Chocolate truffle is the best


Went to chennai to resolve university issues and write the practical exam



Check out this cabs sticker at the airport! Hilarious!

IMG-20150703-WA0031View from the plane



So glad to be part of the world when we’re technologically advanced enough to fly through clouds and view them like this! I wish I could live on clouds.


Waited at the Chennai airport for good 4 hours before we were allowed to get in. They don’t have sufficient seating arrangements in the airport, which is super inconvenient for tourists/non residential travelers.

IMG-20150703-WA0033Received my re-issued passport!


Worked like a maniac to complete the record, flew to Chennai again for it.


New academic year at madrasa began! Was doing prep for it while in Chennai after classes.




Liked the chandelier in the hotel, looks like falling stars…



Saturday 11th July was a super busy day, had 9AM class at HAP secundrabad, then went for the SEN orientation at school. Followed by Iftar at my cousins fiances house.


Batools class door, so cute




Batool really enjoyed spending time with family, and I relaxed too, and even though it was a late Saturday, I was all prepped for another busy day at the madrasa.

Quite a bit of regular homework coming in PP2 she’s finally gotten settled into the class and is coping up okay.


As for the coming days, I have an exam on Wed, a target submission of assignments on 30th, group counseling sessions at school, and may add spoken Arabic classes to the list after Eid 🙂

The birthday month started off very hectic, planning for a dinner out with my gal pals on Thurs! Looking forward to just relaxing and enjoying the company of young, spirited women who keep me sane.

What do I do? Introducing 'The 24 hour hussle'

I have always been a keen observer, and try to draw as many lessons as I can from not just my own experiences in life but also from those of others. There’s always a phase where certain wisdom is relevant over other. I call my recent discovery ‘the 24 hour hustle’. The interesting aspect of this theory is that it can be used in an humorous sence, it’s a multifaceted.

I have a very busy life, like any other mother on the planet. I however have been told by several people on several occasions “how do you manage so many things, especially with a child”. And while ‘where there is a will, there is a way’ applies here 100%, it is also the realisation that there are only 24 hours in a day, and this fact can be viewed with ‘glass half full, half empty’ perspective.

‘The 24 hour husstle’ is a way to keep myself motivated, the more I am able to accomplish in a day the more I learn

about the audacity of those 24 hours. There will be lazy days no doubt, but a recent introspection has helped me conclude that I have a tendency to work like crazy, and then just want to not even get out of the house. I don’t know if it’s the healthiest way to function, but it works for me. I shall clear at this point that I don’t usually have the luxury to take a break as often as I want or need. The more work you have on hand, the more productive you are and the more exhausted you will get. And that’s a fact, and with people like me the amount of work only increases. I have to admit though, I wasn’t as open initially. Around 5 years ago, I didn’t know I had this capacity. It’s only after having Batool that I realised that I needed to have more in my life to prove to myself and also to be a good role model to Batool and all other young moms out there. Being a mother shouldn’t and doesn’t stop you from achieving any goals, if anything it will motivate you. This is subject to how driven you are and your personality. The bottom line being; you are a human being before you are anyones anything.

So what is it that I do on a regular basis? The following are a regular part of my life apart from being a mother:

1. Studying

2. Blogging (my blog and other freelance blogging)

3. Job

4. Teaching at my Sunday school

5. Running my Sunday school

6. Volunteering and doing community service (this is rather random in terms of institution and type of work)

And this schedule is about to get crazy after my present holiday. Starting June I am going to have a 6 day working week. By that I don’t been I will be at my job for 6 days, but that the many things I do will take up 6 days of the week, and that one day “off” will be to get organised and catch up on left over work. This is me looking at the glass half full with my 24hours.

This way of life really helps you become productive, and automatically omits things that you don’t truly value. Your mind will make you conscious of the number of hours left, and you will prioritise, organise accordingly and realise that many things you held as “important” aren’t really that significant to you.

There will always be people who will demotivate you, or make you feel like you’re wasting time or are not that interesting anymore. Most of these people are lazy 😉 Trust me on that. They can’t understand the ‘why’ behind working hard. And there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I do come across days where the physical, emotional and mental exhaustion takes a toll, and I just want to hide somewhere, be surrounded by white and silence, but that’s all part of the hassle and is a tiny phase, if anything it will increase your strength.

It is important to surround yourself by people who appreciate you, and your work. This is a very important factor, you have to also know what helps you unwind, it would be a day out with friends, a book, a chill movie, a quiet few minutes, writing a diary etc. could be anything, but it has to be time efficient. You can’t spend more hours unwinding than being productive.

I have decided to work on a new agenda, ie to sleep less, I want to gradually bring it to 5 hours, and maybe a power nap of 15 mins (if needed) and eating less. This will be a simultaneous work on self-control that I am looking forward to, plus the reduced hours of sleep will “increase” the number of hours for being productive.

In the past three years, I have experienced a great sense of accomplishment and confidence from my multitasking routine. I have discovered my love for hardwork, not just for myself but in others. I admire people with a ‘no nonsense’ attitude, who have a focus each and everyday. I aspire to be that person, there’s only 24 hours that we get each day, precious 24 hours and how dare we waste them?

I have a new sense of appreciation for people with drive. Those who aspire to do something with the skills they have been gifted, and I don’t mean this in the career aspect, just as human beings. Only those who have discovered the potential in their personalities can truly be productive on a regular basis. We come across so many talented people who are not contributing to the world in anyway. If that person is you, wake up, and do what you need to, because it’s your right. With all this appreciation comes low tolerance for laziness. An aversion to those who spread the vibe of nothingness. It comes with the mind-set I guess.

What are your thoughts? (Comment, share, like)

My white and clarity

It’s really odd when you’re thinking about something and suddenly you read about the same. There’s an overwhelming feeling that takes over you. I have experienced two such situations or phenomena recently. One of which I experienced just today. But we shall go in the order of occurrence for respect.

1. I have always been the loud one, when it came to enjoying, having fun, motivating someone, but never when it came to problems that were my own. I like to solve them on my own, I like to be patient, and be supportive via space and silence. I pick up on energy very quickly, I know by just walking past a person how they’re feeling. This sense gets heightened when I know the person. This is an area of my potential, and I believe that people like me bring comfort, there’s a reason why I am able to be a good counselor and comforter for students and friends alike. I will be the quiet, patient ear. And I have been treated unjustly. And well in the midst of all the sad drama I came across this quote of Ernest Hemingway, and it was the pure expression of what I was going through. And somehow it made me feel good that a man (especially) is capable of understanding an experience women face on a regular basis, especially in family life.

ernest hemingway. suffering

2. My maternal grandfather was a spiritually blessed man, people used to come to him for all sort of ailments and he used to recite prayers for them and comfort them. I never asked him any future telling questions, I didn’t want the ‘grandparentness’ to go away from him, because no matter what he would be my nana first. Anyway, once he has asked me a question, he asked what it is that I want to see the most in life. And I responded spontaneously as it was something I had thought of previously and I knew the exact answer. I said, I want to see a lot of ice, all white around me, me in the center of white purity. I related that to ice, as I have never experienced snow. And his response was, well it was more of a nod and appreciating bafflement. He didn’t say anything, but he looked impressed. I didn’t ask ‘why?’ because that would break the ‘grandparetness’ code I had set up in my head. Today I was going through the 600 odd pics from last evenings madrasa event, and I saw this one pic and went, ‘wow! this is exactly the white purity and surrounded by whiteness I was talking about, and there’s no ice!’. And a feeling of complete beauty took over me, I smiled into the picture and tears came to my eyes. I found my white.


I hope in life we are able to find the courage to not just try to find the truth but fight for it. So many of us live under the pressure of a conformist society, just trying to get through the day that; we forget that there’s a higher purpose to achieve. I have found my white, and I have faith in those who believe in moving forward, and aren’t afraid to stand for the truth. Stand up for what’s wrong, and most importantly refuse to be silent sufferers,because we know for a fact that; not all will realise that our patience, our silence and our strength is actually meant for the change, and not acceptance of dwelling in the problems.

Happy strength mommies!

Where have I been?

It’s shamelessly been over a month that I posted on this blog. I somehow was in a writers block and a lot has happened.


1. I am now a graduate, even though I haven’t received all my documents. My university is yet to mail those to me.

2. I have successfully completed 8 months of volunteer work at Focus High School as a student counselor.

3. My Sunday school celebrated its third annual day on Sunday April 27th.

4. My application has been accepted at the Institute of Holistic Mental Health – IHMH for a post graduate diploma in school psychology. This will be my first official step into the field of educational psychology/School psychology.

5. The daughter will start school in June InshaAllah. I have started to make mental notes of school supplies and waiting eagerly to get more information from the school. I am going to be a mommy of a school going girl! so excited. Have started to mentally prepare her for the new chapter in her life. Both me and the daughter will be at the same school, only I will go twice a week and she won’t know I work there. More posts coming up on that soon.

6. I am also a part of an NGO in the making. more details on that later.

My folks here from Dubai for some work and Batool is over the moon with excitement. I am trying to get myself organised, cooked Hariyali chicken today, recipe to come soon.

What have you all been upto?

Where have I been?

I wish I could say hibernation, but no mom will have that wish fulfilled!

988780_548032251956615_778208176_nTime has been flying by, real fast. I mean it’s already February!!!. I have been busy in the past few months with my exams. I have just written my third and final year exams of B.Sc Psychology, and man am I glad!. The exams were in December, my mother had come in from Dubai so that I could study. So once they got over I had a long list of to-dos to accomplish, frankly I don’t even remember what was on them. One thing I am sure of was “me time” which hasn’t happened!.

I had made mental resolutions for the new year, and well I should be honest, I am not really cut out for this stuff. Going with the flow is the only mantra I can follow and that works pretty good for me. However this year I have given a title of exploration of myself and whatever is around me. People, places, things, books, movies etc. Just going to focus on gaining knowledge and pushing myself to do more. This ‘push’ factor is what’s majorly missing in the life of a mom, truth be told, no matter if you’re single or married or with kids, the inner motivation and ‘push’ has to come from you. It’s the only reliable source of motivation you will have, people come and go, thought provoking proverbs are read and forgotten, but the inner zeal to accomplish more in life should always come from ourselves.

The school I am currently volunteering at as a student counselor has been keeping me very busy as well, I had taken a break from it in Dec to concentrate on my exams and got into full swing after the they got over. Got my daughters admission done there too, I am officially going to be a mommy of a school going child! Am I happy or am I happy?!!
Taking admission in a school is a massive deal, so much to consider I guess it deserves a post on its own.


My daughter who is 3.5 now goes to the sunday school I run. It’s a bit challenging to be in the same premises as your child, they somehow want you to always be with them.It’s a struggle I shall admit, but I am hopeful. This is a major problem with only borns and also preemies. They’re so used to being around their mothers, that it’s a bigger task for them to let go.

I have also been looking into some social work. I am very passionate about education. And truly prefer giving my time and skill to people who need it.

So that’s the update now, I was also facing a lazy writers block, which I am hoping I have now recovered from hehe.

See you soon……