Vacation and all that comes with the mindset

I am all for vacations in life. Married women tend to have a whole another situation when it comes to vacations, especially moms. I have noticed a lot of moms just get too caught up in their routine lives and aren’t able to plan a vacation. For many who live away from their family, their holiday is all about meeting their family than actually exploring the world. It’s almost like a choice you have to make, between family and your lifes goals. We all are not able to take vacations whenever we wish, finance being one of the major reason. With a family to book tickets, and plan an itinerary around, you need a lot more of it!

What I have learned is that “me time” can serve as good mini break while life takes over. We need that time not just to pamper ourselves, but to be able to think about us, and where we are and where we are headed. I often times find life to be moving way too fast to be able to even breath. Especially with a baby around, it gets even more tough, add to that your everyday responsibilities and you’re one lost soul. I have observed that since becoming a mother I very easily put everything that has to do with me to the side. The attitude is ‘Will do it later, after the baby is xyz old…’ It’s like a bottomless list of priorities and whatever has to do with me gets lost in the bottomless pit. Sad isn’t it. Take a moment and think, you too may have thrown some of your lifes goals in that pit!

Thing is no one trains you how to live your life with periodic vacations. No one prepares you for things, mentally, physically, emotionally or even spiritually. I do believe if the moms of my mothers generation were more insightful, thoughtful, or simply vocal, we would be prepared for a lot of what we experience as surprises. Not to blame anyone, I am being realistic, and hence talking about it myself. There will be plenty people ready to make you feel guilty for taking a break, some don’t understand the concept of ‘me time’, and as a mom you are so aware of the incredible list of tasks that you feel bad to skip some to take time out for yourself.

I used to wonder what people get from a ‘weekend getaway’ but now I understand, that few hours away from routine helps a lot. The world isn’t how it used to be before, cycling for hours to school/work, walking to your cousins place, getting together on weekends for a tea, writing letters, and waiting patiently for responses. We live is a world that is too fast paced. We ourselves aren’t ready for what we have created, we do not have the coping mechanisms for our inventions and innovations. So what do we do? We vacay as much as possible, however possible and try to maintain our sanity to get through life 🙂

Finding therapy

I’ve been wanting to paint for a very long time. Can never forget the hours I used to spend as a child painting, water colors, paintbrushes, colourful art. It was thoroughly captivating. It is very important for us to revisit these simple memories that caused so much happiness in our hearts and do those things.

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I have genuinely found so much peace in painting, in fact I actually look forward to the evening, for the time I have scheduled to indulge in art. No doubt the spontaneity of childhood would never come back, and as adults we don’t have the luxury to spend hours doing such things, but I do think it’s worth our while. That’s why I am focusing on not so elaborate paintings. In fact I am also looking at working on my skills too. Maybe an art class or so would help. Right now I am enjoying YouTube videos on water colour techniques. Just watching them is also inspiring and relaxing.

So far I have done 4:

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I have done all these painting sitting on the floor. One reason for that is that I simply don’t have desk, however I avoided the dining table to really get a creative feel. A different experience. I am not blown away by my art, I was surprised though. To be able to create anything like looks decent enough to share is an achievement for me. After easy 6 years I have held a paintbrush to paint.

Used to be tempted whenever students at madrasa would be doing prep work for their exhibits and projects, I really need to re-connect with my creative side. It’s been way too long, and wrong to have just pushed it aside.

It amazes me how much we learn from life, from our past, and to know there’s so much scope of development and healing is amazing. I am glad I pushed myself to explore, and have found a good therapeutic way to be myself and zone out.

Working on your day off

One of the bad things about the internet life is we truly can’t escape our work. Email notifications are the death. Today was my day off, and even though I had scheduled two group counseling sessions, I cancelled for two reasons

  1. I realised it was a dumb decision to schedule work on my day off
  2. I wasn’t feeling too good, and me friend was free to meet up

And so I had a fun time catching up with her, even though we were in the car most of the time, drove to IGNOU and then BRAOU, wasn’t a fruitful strip except I figured I can’t or don’t want to do the courses they offered.

Since there was still time for me to get back to school and pick up the daughter, we figured we should grab a snack, and long story short we had a thick shake. And boy was it yummy!

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Drove back to school picked up Batool and sure enough, got some work done. It’s inescapable. As long as we have e-mails, we will get sucked into work. I believe this also happens when you work part time while everyone at school is going about their full week of work. Even then, it’s unavoidable. I just can’t seem to draw boundaries and not work. This has become very apparent as well now, when your friends and colleagues start categorising you as a “workaholic” you can no longer deny that!

Don’t know if I will ever be that person who can segregate, set a schedule. Actually I don’t know if I ever want to be that person. Give performance a very high priority, and while it may result in a heap-full of tiredness, and sacrifices I guess for me it’s all worth it. It’s obviously bringing about some satisfaction isn’t it?

A little bit of fantasy (Maybe WE can stop time)

Music isn’t my thing but there’s a particular song that’s making me smile a lot these days. I am in that phase in life where I guess many moms get into where you want to be stupid, and think about things that are impossible. But it’s that element of broadening your thoughts, that makes you smile. Anyway, I’m sure I’m being rather weird….Here’s the song, it’s by a youtuber. I like his other song ‘once in a lifetime’ it’s well written and light.

This is ‘Stop time’ by Landon Austin

The lyrics are fun, well written, young, refreshing, flirty and have an empowering fantasy element to them.

Apart from the chorus above, my favourite lines from the song include ‘Let’s be fearless baby, lets be free’. So liberating! I am full on into making my happiness a priority at this point in my life.

Let me know if you enjoy the above song in the comments below…

Compartmentalise

I shall share some advice/wisdom. My brother had spoken to me about compartmentalising my thoughts while I was in Dubai earlier in the year. I thought, must be easy for men to do that. We women especially moms are multitaskers, to the point that if we don’t have more than one task at hand we will add one.

But there is a lot of power to this phenomena. There are so many thoughts rummaging in our minds, most are clashing in intensity, and positivity. I very often find myself frazzled and frustrated trying to manage all the duties, and responsibilities I have on a regular basis. Not to mention any emotional drama that may be playing in the head.

I have a tendency to actively tell my brain to delete stuff. This may seem rather weird, scary even. But it’s my coping mechanism, I tell my brain to start forgetting certain experiences, incidences, words heard and people. It gives me a great sense of control over my life and emotions. So compartmentalising to be able to focus seemed like a sane thing to venture into. And man it works. I am a visual person, I simple have figure out an image for all the many things in my brain, image code them basically and then just focus on what I want to. Like switch the lights off on the ones I don’t want to think or work on.

If you are able to compartmentalise your brain effectively you will improve the quality of life and double up productivity. Right now I have several things on my mind like, assignment submissions, school work, sunday school,blogging, vacation in dubai, and other personal distractions. But I have found that mindfulness, and a little positive approach on understanding what’s in your brain can do wonders. It gives you the faith that you can manage your shit, and manage it efficiently. Potential will be achieved in all departments if you’re focused.

Try it and let me know how it works out for you.

Friday Funday and new years plans

Last Friday I took a much needed break and met my friend to hang out. Made some discoveries, had a great time and working on plans for the coming new year.

Lets first talk about the hype that is Starbucks, I am not a tea/coffee drinker, but it sounded like a fine idea to just start the day chilling, so we went to Starbucks, and I only ordered the brownie, been dreaming of a nice brownie since I’ve been working out and cutting out all candy and chocolates.

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I tried to take a funny pic and I did a great job at it, forgot to take an OOTD pic, my bad, this always happens. Notice the empty plate! hehe, they served the brownie with whipped cream and chocolate chips (this is an additional BTW), I didn’t enjoy it. Ice-cream and warm brownies are a match made in heaven. The chocolate chips were divine, I liked that there were no nuts in the brownie. But I guess I shouldn’t expect much from a coffee place.

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1. Blazer and leggings-Mango

2. Button down dress– AND (Global Desi)

3. Shoes- Splosh

4. Nails- OPI glitter nail polish, and Max Factor top coat

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We headed to GVK after that and discovered Marks and Spencer at the lower floor! How amazing, I don’t like the clothes there, but it was nice to have MandS close by now as apposed to the tiny jubilee hills one or the one at Inorbit Mall.

I am not a new year resolutions typa gal, I do however make lists of achievement or goals for the new year. And this time I am going to big time join the organised note making gang. I even bought myself a 2015 diary!